


Wedded 'Blyss' (Becky and Lyssa)

by Nightbreed



Category: NWSL - Fandom, USWNT - Fandom, woso
Genre: F/F, NWSL, USWNT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26022688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightbreed/pseuds/Nightbreed
Summary: Alyssa and Becky are weeks into a whirlwind marriage. Now that reality is finally setting in as they begin their lives together, will they be able to overcome the obstacles that stand in the way.This is a continuation of 'A Different World' with all the same storylines still progressing.
Relationships: Alyssa Naeher/Becky Sauerbrunn, Ashlyn Harris/Ali Krieger, Megan Rapinoe/Undisclosed
Comments: 8
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a companion story for after 'A Different World' ends. It actually picks up right where  
> we left off with everyone. If you'd like the backstory, 'A Different World' has three parts. Now  
> that Becky and Alyssa are married and life together has begun, there's lots of challenges to be  
> dealt with together.  
> At current, they're still living in the shared house with all our favorites. There will be plenty of  
> interaction with previous characters and a continuation of storylines that will intersect.

**Catch Me, I’m Falling**

**Alyssa unwrapped another glucose tablet and popped it into her mouth. She chewed it quickly, put a hand on Becky’s shoulder and lightly shook her. Rae squeaked out a bark to assist in sounding out the alarm. Rolling over onto her back, she watched Alyssa putting another tablet into her mouth. She looked up in a bit of a panic when the device on her wrist began to chirp. The alarm sounded as it vibrated against her wrist and she began to unwrap another one. Rae was sitting in her lap now; her paw tapping at Alyssa’s chest as she stretched to reach the comfort of her arms.**

**“How many is that,” Becky questioned. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Alyssa whispered, “Six.” She was sitting beside Becky now and the fear in her eyes was no doubt making things worse. The adrenaline rush would eat up any chance of raising her sugar and silencing the alarm. “I didn’t feel right and I heard Rae barking.”**

**Sitting up halfway, Becky soothed, “Ok, you’re doing fine.” Reaching for her arm, the display read seventy-seven and trending down. Becky unwrapped another tablet as Alyssa was finishing chewing up the one before and put it to her lips, “Here. You’re still dropping.”**

**When she stopped chewing, Becky sat up all the way and asked, “What are you doing?”**

**Alyssa looked at her wrist and then shook her head, “I think I’m going to be sick.” She put her hand over her mouth to cover it and threw the blankets off her legs. Poised to get out of bed, she wavered with indecision because vomiting would make things worse and she’d no doubt end up needing to start all over again. Becky reached her arms around her and comforted, “Try and relax. You’re doing great. You caught it early. You haven’t passed out.” Rae rested her little head against Alyssa’s leg and watched with keen interest.**

**Leaning back against Becky and relaxing in her arms, they checked the display again. Seventy-nine and steady. Alyssa’s skin was cool and clammy. She shivered a little and Becky pulled the blankets around them, “One more might do it, Lys.”**

**Alyssa avoided her hand when she held up the tablet to her lips and Becky warned, “If you don’t take this you’re going to end up needing the gel. I know how you hate the gel.” Picking up the kit that was lying beside them, Becky twisted off the cap on a tube because she wanted to be ready. Alyssa saw her lifting it to her mouth and whined a little. Wrinkling her nose, she took the tablet and quickly chewed it in the hopes she could avoid the thick syrup.**

**The alarm continued to sound and the display read seventy-seven and trending down. Letting the last tablet roll from the container and into her hand, she began unwrapping it slowly as she stared at the glucose gel with disdain. She absolutely hated the taste. Her hands were having a difficult time taking the wrapper from the tablet and she let out a frustrated whine, knowing that she was losing control. Her hand shaking slightly, she put the last tablet in her mouth and chewed. Then, her hand automatically went to Rae’s head and she gently stroked her hair and soothed her concern.**

**It was breaking Becky’s heart to watch the events unfolding. She didn’t like to be the bad guy but when Alyssa could no longer function, she had to do whatever necessary to raise her sugar levels. The worst it had ever gotten was after they’d used two tubes of gel, Alyssa lost consciousness and Becky had to use two syringes to inject glucagon into her thigh. Letting her head drop back, Alyssa took in a breath. She raised her arm and checked the display on her wrist. She was holding steady at seventy-nine. But the alarm continued to sound. She needed to be at eighty.**

**Becky kissed her cheek and leaned across the bed and pulled open the mini fridge. She took out a container of orange juice and began to shake it. Popping off the top, she took Alyssa’s hand and told her, “Here. Drink this and it’ll put you over the top. Come on, baby. We’re almost there.” Her hand smoothing over her forehead, she coaxed, “Take a sip before we start to fall backwards again.”**

**Raising the container to her mouth, she took a long swallow. Shaking her head, she whined, “I’m going to be sick.” Becky swept the hair away and began pressing her lips softly to her skin while she whispered, “You’re doing so good, honey. You’re so close.” Alyssa took another swallow of juice and rested her head back against Becky. The alarm silenced and Alyssa lifted her arm to read the display. Eighty-four and trending up. She let out a sigh of relief and took another swallow of juice until it was empty.**

**She was exhausted but she managed to tell Becky, “Put that tube away.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice that let Becky know she was trying to be funny. Her eyes were heavy and she rested herself onto her side. “…because I don’t need it,” she added as she started to get comfortable. Rae had settled out her nerves over the situation and found a small crevice alongside of Alyssa’s body to burrow. Becky was smiling as she pulled up the blankets and then settled herself behind her in bed. She pulled her into her arms and pressed kisses to her neck, “It’s gone. You don’t need it. I put it back in the kit.”**

**Alyssa leaned back and melted into Becky’s warm arms that circled around her and kept her safe. It had been a long day and it had finally taken its toll on her body. They’d stayed way too late at Becky’s father’s home the night before. They declined his offer to spend the night because they needed to check out of the hotel early and make their flight. Now, a day later, they were home in their own bed and the travel had caught up with Alyssa. Rae was the last of them to close her eyes once she could sense the danger had passed and sleep was imminent.**


	2. The Story

**The Story**

**The evening, by everyone’s definition, was a complete success. Meeting with her father was what she hoped would be the road to repairing their relationship. She hadn’t spoken to him since she left home when she was seventeen and headed abroad to play in Europe. Now, years later, after a championship, a professional contract, an All-Star game selection, a suicide attempt, lots of therapy and a marriage; Becky wanted to begin to heal the damage that she’d done between them.**

**He’d explained how her reaction to his business had changed the way he thought. Once she’d learned that he was raising the livestock to be slaughtered, her heart broke into a million pieces. The thought of all the animals being killed was inconceivable. When her mother had vindictively brought her to one of the processing plants to see the assembly line, her relationship with her father basically ended. There was no excuse for what she’d seen and her mind had made up. It was cruel and obscene and to the sensitive ten year old; he was a monster.**

**Becky told him about the abuse that occurred. She explained that her mother had put her up to all the destructive tasks in the hopes of pleasing her father. Once he’d learned that she’d drawn on his car with a rock, under the direction of her mother, he realized that she’d driven a wedge between them on purpose. Becky had only tried to do what she was told as a small child and then suffered the spankings that she believed were instructed by her father in response to his displeasure. All of the cruel “jobs” that she was told to complete were a rouse to drive them further apart.**

**He apologized for not being more in tune with the little girl who loved him so much that she idolized him. She would stand on the bed beside him as they both stared into the full length mirror as he tied his tie in the mornings for work. Then she would ceremoniously place his large hat on his head to complete the ritual. It made him ill when he thought about the anger she was harboring toward him when all she wanted was to be his little girl again. He remembered lying awake at night, listening to her cry after she’d been spanked for some task that she thought was going to please him and ended in tears. He’d questioned his wife on a number of occasions if she thought that this was really the best course of discipline for the child. She vehemently stood firm that Becky needed more rigid rules and less leniency from daddy. He missed waking up in the middle of the night and finding her curled up in bed beside him. He missed the hugs and kisses from the little girl who missed her father all day long while he was away at work taking care of her beloved animals. His chest ached with regret thinking about the damage his wife had done to his precious child. Damage that had led to her thinking she was unloved, unworthy and useless to the world in which she now lived.**

**He remembered coming home early from his Saturday meeting and finding an incredibly young Becky curled up in his bed asleep with one of his large cowboy hats on her head. When she woke, he playfully scooped her up into his arms and asked ‘what she was doing.’ She explained that when she grew up, she wanted to be just like her daddy and she had to wear his hat.**

**Becky told him all the reasons why she would end up getting into trouble and his heart ached at the truth. The couple sat on the porch swing and he listened to her talk as he watched her. He found himself experiencing the same joy that he used to feel when he would listen to something new that she’d learned or discovered when she was little. He watched her movements that were always deliberate and the articulation in her speech as he smiled to himself, remembering when he could see her personality beginning to emerge as a small child.**

**His smile faded as the realization hit him that he’d missed so much of her life. There were so many things that had happened to her and they never got to share the stories together. She was telling him about her time in Europe when she caught him just watching her and she stopped. Feeling self-conscious, she looked away embarrassed and she asked if she was boring him. He smiled at her honesty and he shook his head no. She blushed a little and he made her promise to never stop telling him stories about her life. He wanted to know it all. He said that before she left, he’d wanted to reach out and hug her but she’d pushed him away so many times that he was afraid to try. He said that the day she left, he wanted to beg her to stay and let him take care of her but she was so angry. He felt that the only way he would be able to hold on to any piece of her; was to let her go. It broke him to see her get into the car that day.**

**After she left, he told her that he buried himself in work, trying to complete the transition on the farm. It was around the time that he’d begun large sale distributions that he started looking her up to see how she was doing. It happened to be the summer that she won the championship with Ali. He stumbled on the magazine at the airport and he stood by the incoming flights from Germany asking if anyone could read the article. Becky smiled and asked, “Did I at least have something good to say?”**

**Jack nodded at her and said, “The line that sticks out the most…the one I remember, is when you said it was the best day of your life.” Her embarrassment colored her face and she said, “Well I might have to change my answer now.”**

**Chuckling to himself, he leaned in, “Don’t let your wife hear you say that.” He winked at her and Becky laughed out loud. It felt so easy to talk to him and without judgement. She wondered if she’d have been more comfortable in her own skin if she’d decided to stay. Of course, her life would be unrecognizable to the life she lives now.**

**“Speaking of wives,” he started. “Do you want to tell me about her?”**

**She hesitated, then, “What do you want to know?” There was caution in her voice again that he recognized from before. She really was very protective of anything having to do with Alyssa.**

**“I want to know whatever you’ll share with me.” His voice was soft and it made her want to spill her guts about her whole lovesick affair from start to finish. He genuinely seemed interested.**

**“I thought for a long time that maybe I should have been a boy.” She studied him carefully for a reaction but he was listening to every syllable that she uttered with such earnest. “I felt so close to you. I wanted to be everything that you were.” The way that she spoke about him, her words were filled with pride and sincerity.**

**The words stuck in his throat, hearing the admiration she held for him, and he wanted to know, “What was I, Rebecca?”**

**She leaned back on the swing and relaxed against it as she chose her words. Once she was sure, she looked over at him, “My hero. My protector. I wanted to be as confident and secure in myself as you always seemed to be. Every time I looked at you, you were closing a deal or doing business and the way you spoke left no room for insecurities.”**

**The conviction in her voice almost brought him to tears. She’d built him up into something that he didn’t feel he could ever live up to. He shook his head, “I always tried to do the right thing but I’m far from what you think I am.” He could see her disappointment in his reaction to her feelings about him but it was best to be up front and honest. “Why did you think you should have been a boy?”**

**She shrugged and for the first time since they began their conversation, she looked away from him to avoid answering. He could see she was afraid to tell him something. As open as she’d been up to this point, there was still a piece of her that she guarded.**

**“Do you think it would have changed our relationship if you were a boy?” She was looking into her lap, debating on what to say. Without thinking, his need to comfort her superseded his better judgement and he rested a hand gently on her arm. She didn’t pull away but it was obvious that his touch had triggered something inside her and he felt her body tense up. She looked over at him but he’d already pulled his hand away, not wanting to overstep. Meeting his eyes, she studied her own reflection that was mirrored as he watched her. She seemed sad. Then forcing the words from her lips, she asked, “Did I make you stop loving me? Is that why you’re afraid to touch me?”**

**Dropping his foot to stop the motion of the swing, he turned toward her, “Is that what you think?” She seemed ambivalent about the question and shrugged a little. That seemed to be her safety net when she felt like she was putting herself out on a limb. Her gaze wandering out to the fields, she settled on a pen that held some of the chickens. She was watching them move in waves together and he could see it was willing her mood to lighten.**

**“Rebecca?” His voice snapped her back to focus on him and his question that she’d brushed off.**

**“…sir?”**

**“Do you really think that I stopped loving you?” His eyes narrowed, forcing her attention to remain on his seriousness. “I’d be one lousy hero if that were true.”**

**Her gaze dropped a little and she stared at the buttons on his shirt as a distraction, “For the six years that I lived here after mom died,” she paused and summoned the strength for her voice to go on, “…you never touched me once. Not out of love or anger. It felt like I was a ghost.”**

**He thought about her statement and felt that she needed the validation, “That was wrong. I was the parent and I should have tried harder to reach you.”**

**Her embarrassment and vulnerability getting the best of her, she folded her arms over herself for emotional protection, “The only times that mom touched me was when she disciplined me.” She was unable to look at him anymore. She felt like she’d just ripped open a deep wound and poured salt in it.**

**Becky had gotten to the point that she’d refused to give her mother the satisfaction of letting her see her cry. Physical touch had become a trigger for her to either shut down or lash out. Her mother would spank her, getting it out of her system while she waited to be told to go to her room; which is where she wanted to be anyway.**

**“Rebecca, I’ve wanted to hug you from the second I saw you standing in my living room.” His tone in the way he spoke to her, revealed his own unresolved wounds. “The moment I saw you, my heart raced because it was really you. I just don’t want to hurt you or upset you, in any way.”**

**Becky met his eyes and shyly questioned, “What do you want now?”**

**A hand over top of hers, Jack smiled at her and reached out his arms, “I want to hug my little girl for the first time in years so she knows she’s loved.” Her apprehension stalling her movements, she slid closer until he reached around her and held her tight. He began crying when he breathed in some of her natural scent. Rocking her back and forth slowly, he kissed her forehead and confessed, “My favorite thing in the world is when you were very young, you would beg me to pick you up and put you on my shoulders so you could see into the animal stalls.” At first, her body was very stiff, until she began to remember similar scents and feelings and she wrapped her arms around him in return. “Dad….”**

**“Yes?”**

**“Whenever I’m afraid to do something, I just pretend I’m you. It helps me have the courage I need.” He could tell she was revealing a secret that meant something very dear to her. Holding her close to him, he reassured, “I appreciate that but I think you’re very brave, Rebecca.”**

**“I think that’s what Alyssa loves about me. I try and take care of her the way that you did for me.”**

**Pulling back, Jack took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes, “Don’t you dare do that. It’s you that takes care of her. You’re the one that she wakes up with in the morning.”**

**When he acknowledged her relationship, it made her sit up a little straighter. He could see the confidence and pride that she felt. “How did you meet her?”**

**“She was my best friend’s roommate. She introduced us.” Becky smiled a little, “Last summer, Ali and I went to visit the national team and we stayed up late talking one night. After that, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.”**

**Jack smiled listening to his daughter talk about her first love. “So what did you do? Did you ask her out?”**

**“Sort of…I suggested we just go for coffee…and talk.” She looked away and blushed.**

**“How’d that go?”**

**“We were both really shy and nervous. I could see she wasn’t going to be able to express her feelings so I kissed her.” Her mind replayed the moment that she kissed Alyssa for the first time and she smiled. He watched her thinking quietly and nodded, “You’re sweet.”**

**“After Christmas, she broke up with me because I did something really stupid. I promised her that I’d never do anything like that again and I’ve always tried to treat her with respect.” She was almost out of breath when she’d finished the sudden purge. He could tell that she wanted his approval and she respected whether or not he thought she was being good to Alyssa. “I know she deserves someone better than me but…”**

**“Whoa, hold on.” Jack held up a hand to stop her. “Back up a minute. What’s that all about?” Becky shrugged and looked away. “Hey...” He waited until she looked up at him before he continued. “I really don’t like hearing you say things like that about yourself.”**

**She met his stare that was growing more concerned. “There isn’t a doubt in my mind about the way that Alyssa feels about you. I sat behind her at that game for two hours and listened to the way she talked about you. Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize you were married. Things make a lot more sense now. Especially after the girl she was sitting with made the comments she did.”**

**“Does that bother you?” Her tone had returned. A smile that he couldn’t seem to hold back had forced him to laugh a little. “Quite honestly, no. It doesn’t. However, it does sound like it bothers you a little.”**

**Catching her off guard, she frowned and shook her head. “I don’t understand.”**

**“Before I have a chance to say anything about Alyssa, you get very defensive.” He leaned back against the swing and asked, “Did something happen?”**

**Becky looked out across the ranch and nodded. Her voice low, she began, “We believe in God and I studied the bible. It was an important part of my schooling. I remember feeling that I was a part of a community and it was more about tolerance and doing the right thing.” Jack was listening carefully, trying to follow where she was going with her thoughts.**

**“I don’t really remember it being hateful or threatening.” She took a deep breath and looked over at him, “Alyssa’s parents tried to pray the gay away and they hurt her to do it. There’s been a couple times that they’ve been really upsetting.”**

**His own protective instincts rivaling Becky, he turned toward her a little as he listened. “They’re not speaking right now. I’ve seen them try to get back inside her head and she’s been so brave. I promised her that I’d never let them hurt her again.”**

**“She’s young, isn’t she..” It was more of a statement as he listened.**

**“There’s four years between us but I really do love her…” Stopping her with a hand on her shoulder, Jack shook his head, “I’m not arguing with you. Relax. So, she’s like twenty. No one can take her away from you.” He smiled a little, “Everything always seems so complicated when you’re young.”**

**Becky looked at him squarely and said, “She’s sick. She has a brain tumor and we’re working with the doctors…” Her voice trailed off but she never looked away. He could see the fear in her eyes.**

**“You’re scared.”**

**“I’m scared.”**

**Trying to lean closer to put an arm around her, he nodded, “That’s love and marriage. You worry.”**

**Letting him comfort her, she agreed, “I worry. I worry that I’m going to let the same thing happen again, like I did with mom.”**

**He tried to look over at her but she had her head down. “What did you do with mom?”**

**She was frowning in a way that told Jack she was blaming herself for her mother’s death. “Rebecca?”**

**She flinched a little when he spoke and he softened his tone to avoid her shutting down, “Talk to me.”**

**“I should have called someone sooner.” She looked up at him and her eyes had welled with tears. “If you had come back home earlier then maybe she wouldn’t have died.” The remorse that she displayed on her face told the tale of years of guilt that she’d carried with her.**

**Shaking his head, he tried to assure her, “That is completely untrue. Her kidney’s were failing and her health had been declining for a while. There isn’t anything that you could have done differently that would have changed that afternoon in any way.”**

**Softly chewing on her bottom lip, she refused to blink. She was focused on evaluating his sincerity. He put a hand on her shoulder and promised, “It had nothing to do with you.” He could see the wheels in her head were still turning and he questioned, “Do you honestly think I would lie to you?”**

**She seemed to let her shoulders relax and he added, “When the time came, it was my decision.”**

*****

**At dinner, Lori and Alyssa continued their conversation that revolved around Hannah’s growth over the summer. She sat on the opposite side of the baby and watched her feeding her and how happy each spoonful delighted her senses.**

**Eventually, Lori held out the spoon and gestured, “You want to feed her?”**

**Alyssa took the spoon and held the tiny bowl in her hand. Scooping up a small amount, she held it poised and still, almost afraid to move it closer. She smiled when Hannah happily leaned in and took a taste of the rice cereal. Her expressions had Alyssa engrossed in the way she reacted. Letting out a relieved breath, she used the spoon to get a little more.**

**Becky was cutting up her potatoes and stopped mid action when she looked over at Alyssa. Her wife’s face had a sudden glow to it that made her ache and she wasn’t sure why. She watched her interaction with the baby and it made her smile.**

**Lori put some potatoes on her own plate and asked, “So I guess you guys want kids, huh?” Alyssa immediately looked over with a goofy smile on her face that Becky knew she probably didn’t even know she was making and nodded at Lori. She quickly returned her attention to the baby before Becky could make her own confused face. She had been sitting with Alyssa when the doctor had explained all the systems that were affected. She had also been sitting with her when the psychologist had come in to visit and talk about how all these things made her feel. Becky hadn’t really followed up with any questions about whether or not she thought there would be a void in her life without children but as she watched her now, it was obvious they needed to have a talk.**

**Lori took a bite of her green beans and continued on with Alyssa, “How long is the national team thing?”**

**Still smiling at Hannah, Alyssa shrugged, “Maybe two weeks.” She had moved close enough beside Hannah in an attempt to keep from spilling any food that she was leaning on the edge of the highchair. When the baby reached up with both of her arms and hugged Alyssa, there was a stirring of questions in her own heart.**

**Feeling her father’s stare on her, Becky looked up. He seemed contented and she smiled a little before asking, “How did you meet Lori?” His gaze wandered over to his wife briefly and she was sure he was concerned about discussing his feelings for a woman other than her mother. “Her father is one of my distributers. We met at a business convention.” He smiled again at his wife and daughter in a way that Becky realized was the same way she looked at Alyssa.**

**“How long were you seeing each other?” Becky focused on her food but he knew she was interested. Her attempts to be respectful were making sure not to stare at him so he wouldn’t feel pressured. Jack was beginning to be able to read her better. She really wasn’t all that different from when she was a child.**

**“Maybe a year. We were spending a lot of time together and I asked her to move in. How about you?”**

**A flash of the last year rocketed through her brain and she hunched her shoulders a little, wondering if he’d approve of the way things had unfolded. “Uhm..” Stuffing a large piece of potato in her mouth, she chewed with no conviction to buy herself time to think.**

**“Rebecca, everyone’s relationship is different. It’s alright if you followed a different path from mine.”**

**“We officially dated for like 5 months before we broke up. Then, like three weeks ago, we met up again and a few days later we were married.” She looked down at her plate and moved the food around as she waited for his response.**

**She could see him pick up his beer from the corner of her eye and she watched him take a swallow. Once he set it down, he answered, “Well, I’m sure there’s a whole lot of information that was left out of that story. I hope that someday, when you’re comfortable, you’ll tell me more.”**

**By the time she looked up at him, he was already cutting up another piece of salmon. She was starting to trust that he was as relaxed as she remembered and not how her mother had portrayed him out to be.**

**“Alyssa?” Lori had set her fork down and reached for the bowl that she held in her shaking hand. Putting the small spoon down she looked over at Becky, “I don’t feel well.” Her voice was filled with fear. Lifting her hand, she read aloud the display, “Eighty-one, I’m dropping.”**

**Standing quickly, Becky searched her pockets for the car keys, “Do you have some juice or something? She needs something sweet. I can’t believe I forgot the…” Rushing out of the kitchen, she headed outside toward the car. Racing down the front steps, she sprinted to the rental parked beside her father’s truck. On the backseat, she grabbed the black bag that held the diabetic emergency supplies.**

**When she returned to the kitchen, Jack was sitting beside Alyssa as she drank a large glass of something. Lori was pouring her another as soon as she finished off the first glass. Coming to her side, Becky asked, “Are you alright?”**

**Alyssa looked up and nodded, “I think so. The alarm only went off for like a minute.”**

**Jack gestured toward the glass, “Why don’t you finish that off just to make sure.” Checking her wrist, the display was at eighty-three and trending upward. Alyssa smiled at her father, “Thank you.” He patted her hand and then gave her a wink.**

**“What is that she’s drinking?” Becky was looking at the large pitcher Lori was holding.**

**Jack stood from his chair and pulled it out a little and motioned for Becky to sit beside her wife. “That’s Lori’s great grandmother’s southern sweet tea. It’s got a touch of honey and a pinch of baking soda.”**

**Setting the pitcher on the table, Lori added, “And a whole lot of sugar.” Becky was watching Alyssa’s eyes begin to focus again and her attention quickly returned to the baby.**

**“Lys…” A hand on her arm, Becky coaxed, “Why don’t you eat some of your dinner so you have something in your stomach instead of just sugar.” Sitting back in her chair, Alyssa frowned a little at the thought of not interacting with Hannah. Taking the cue, Lori picked up the bowl and spoon and scooped up some cereal.**

**Slipping her hand into Alyssa’s, Becky found a reserve of swagger that when she smiled, prompted a blush from the brunette that had her pulling her plate closer to comply. With a whisper, Becky called, “Hey…”**

**After she adjusted her chair, Alyssa met with the comfort of jade green eyes that were already on her. Leaning in, she softly promised, “I love you so much.” Alyssa’s cheeks colored and Becky placed a delicate kiss on her lips. “Hannah will wait until you finish your dinner.”**

**Fork in hand, she began cutting up her food as Becky returned to her own seat. Before she sat, she looked to Lori and nodded, “Thank you. I’ll need the recipe for great grand mom’s tea.”**

**Lori chuckled a little as she sat closer to Hannah who was ready for more. As Becky sat down, she met her father’s watchful stare and he smiled at her. The way she’d comforted her wife and diplomatically handled the situation gave him enough information to see exactly what a warm heart she had.**

**Alyssa checked the display and then took a bite of food. She was watching Lori who was now multitasking her own dinner between bites with Hannah. After drinking some of her own tea, Lori asked, “You feel better?”**

**Nodding, Alyssa ate some potato. “After dinner, if you want, I’m going to give her a bath. You interested?”**

**Jack raised an eyebrow and looked over at Becky, “We could sit on the porch and talk some more…if you can stay a while longer.” Glancing over at Alyssa, Becky let out a soft laugh, “I think I’m out numbered.” Smiling at Lori and then meeting her father’s question, “Yes. We can stay a while longer.”**

*****

**As Lori came down the steps, she heard voices in the living room and stood in the doorway a moment as she watched Jack and Becky flipping through an old photo album that he’d kept in the top drawer of his desk. When a new page was revealed, they both sat silently as they studied, remembered and let the emotions wash over them. Noticing his wife, Jack stood, “Is everything ok?”**

**Nodding, Lori smiled and stepped into the room to look at the photo album that was on the desk. “Hannah’s down already?”**

**Sitting on the sofa, Lori narrowed her stare as Becky looked up, “Not exactly.” She thought for a minute and then offered, “Alyssa’s bathing her. So we could all talk.”**

**Becky looked up questioningly. “Well, more, I wanted to run something by you, Rebecca.”**

**“Alyssa said that you have to leave for a few weeks for national team camp. We were talking and thought maybe she could stay here with us.”**

**Raising an eyebrow, Becky asked, “You mean while I’m away, you want Alyssa to stay here with you?” She looked from Lori to her father and questioned, “That wouldn’t be weird for you guys?”**

**Lori glanced over at her husband and shrugged, “It was just an idea. Alyssa seems so taken with Hannah and I honestly wouldn’t mind.”**

**Becky closed the book in front of her and thought to herself. Her hesitation prompted her father to respond, “Rebecca, if it’s too much too soon, it’s ok to say no.” He smiled a little and added, “I can’t say how happy I am to have you back in my life. Alyssa is family. You both are. I can only imagine that you’re having issues with trust.”**

**Looking up slowly, Becky met his eyes and realized he was right. She was expecting to be turned away and abandoned again. It felt strange to know that she and Alyssa would have supportive family in their corner. Feeling her uneasiness, he nodded, “It’s alright. Another time.”**

**Before she could respond, Alyssa came into the room and stood just beyond the doorway. She held a freshly scrubbed up Hannah in her arms who was cuddled into a pale pink pair of pajamas that had footies to shield her toes from a chill. She had her head resting against Alyssa’s chest with heavy eyes. Her thumb was halfway in her mouth, halfway balled into a tiny fist as she dribbled onto Alyssa’s top leaving a damp spot on the fabric, “Someone’s very sleepy.” Her voice was slightly above a whisper, smiling at Becky from across the room. She rocked her body a little as she snuggled the baby closer to her.**

**Becky stood slowly and she could feel her stomach flip at the sight of Alyssa holding the little girl. She was smiling in a way that made her glow. “She’s such a good baby.” Alyssa kissed her head and when she hesitated, Becky could see her inhaling the addictive scent that made women yearn.**

**Lori stood and met Alyssa in the doorway. Gently rubbing her hand up and down her back, Hannah yawned and rubbed her eyes, “Momma,…” When she reached out, Lori maneuvered a seamless transition into her own arms where Hannah very quickly lost the battle and fell asleep.**

**“She really is a good baby. We got lucky.” Lori instinctively kissed her head and turned toward Jack. Meeting her halfway, he questioned, “Are you going to put her down?” She nodded and he leaned in and kissed the head of the now sleeping child, “Goodnight sweet girl.” When he looked up and met his wife’s eyes, they smiled at each other the way lovers do and he kissed her softly, “I love you.”**

**Lori turned toward the foyer and carried Hannah upstairs to put to bed. After she left the room, Becky looked to Alyssa and asked, “While I’m at the camp, do you want to stay here? My dad and Lori said they wouldn’t mind.”**

**Jack quickly turned to her, “Are you sure you’re alright with that?”**

**As Alyssa came to her side and slipped her hand into Becky’s with the most contented smile, she nodded, “Yes. It’s fine. If that is what everyone wants, absolutely.” She rested her head against Becky and told her, “I’d really like that.”**

**Jack watched the way they looked into one another’s eyes and it made him smile. He also held back a snicker as he realized how tightly Alyssa had Becky wrapped around her little finger. It wasn’t completely intentional because Alyssa was in just as deep. The couple was in that place where they would do anything for the other.**

**Turning away when he felt he was intruding, he picked up the photo album from his desk and questioned, “Alyssa, did you ever wonder about your wife’s past?”**

**Drawing her attention and giving him a curious look, she smiled when she realized he was being playful. He held open the album and gestured, “Take a look.”**

**Taking a few steps closer, Alyssa craned her neck to see what he was pointing toward. Wrinkling her nose at first, her smile grew wider as she realized she was looking at Becky. She was around the same age as Hannah in an entire page of Easter themed pictures. In a pale yellow dress, she sat among a dozen white fluffy bunnies that had hopped around her enough to amuse her into a happy giggle that left genuinely joyous glee on her face. Alyssa studied the pictures until she finally found the essence of the little girl’s happiness and could see Becky. She covered her mouth with her hand when she recognized an innocence that she was sure had never existed. Another picture showed her holding delicate little chicks and even at such a young age, displayed her unbridled love of animals.**

**Alyssa looked over at Becky who was searching her hand through her pocket for something. “I like seeing you this way,” she confessed.**

**“Vulnerable?” Becky questioned as she stepped closer.**

**Disappointed with the sudden need to disguise herself, Alyssa shook her head, “No. Authentically you.” She had a way of cutting through the bullshit and stripping away any armor that she unnecessarily used for protection. “Is this why we have Rae? I’ve always suspected as much.”**

**“Who’s Rae?” Jack was studying Becky.**

**Shrugging a little, she nodded, “My parents never let me have a pet when I asked?”**

**Alyssa nodded her understanding and looked back down at the book. Becky was being held up so she could pet the horses and the sheer joy on her face spoke volumes.**

**Narrowing his eyes, Jack continued with conviction, “You never asked for…” When their eyes met, he stopped and the realization washed over him. His embarrassment prevented him from holding her gaze when she didn’t look away. Alyssa opened her phone and showed him a picture of she and Becky standing in front of the Christmas Tree together holding Rae. “Isn’t that sweet…” He studied the picture, taking in every detail. He took notice of their body language and how it had changed. He could see the way the smile on Becky’s face had evolved into what was in front of him today. She was most certainly a work in progress. He was beginning to see the struggle she’d lived with and how she was working to vanquish it. Handing him the phone, she swiped the picture so he could see more of their life together. Alyssa had definitely become the catalyst for her transformation once Ali had brought her head into focus. She’d fallen in with a group that had helped her find herself and was now a part of community. He lingered on a picture of the whole gang out at a bar and he smiled at the comradery. Even Frankie, leaning across the counter, her bright personality, fit in perfectly with the others. Megan was the same in the photograph as she was on the field at the All-Star game. She was playful and happy and he could tell she was the resident prankster. Ali and the blonde who hugged her close, were all a part of her special clique.**

**Suddenly stepping closer, Becky held her hand hesitant in her back pocket. When he noticed her, he softly asked, “What have you got there?”**

**Looking up at him, her cheeks colored and she shrugged one shoulder slightly, “Before I left I took something from you.” Looking down at her balled up hand, she held it out and told him, “I want to give it back.”**

**Jack held out his hand beneath hers and met her eyes before she opened her fist and put it into his palm. It dropped into his hold and their eyes met briefly before she looked away and apologized, “I’m sorry.”**

**Taking a moment to compose himself, he nodded, “I thought you might have this.” When she looked up at him, he’d halfway smiled, “Do you remember taking this when you were little?” Becky shook her head no and Alyssa questioned, “What is that?”**

**Holding it out, Jack let it open up and displayed the Bolo Necktie that had a dark green jade in the center and framed by decorative silver. It was attached to a braided cord of leather and bound by two silver fasteners at the ends. “My favorite tie. My wife gave it to me for our anniversary one year.” Turning a few pages in the book she held, he pointed to a picture of him wearing it. There was a picture of Becky a few pages later, wearing the Bolo around her neck with his large cowboy hat on her head. “Your mother was always telling me you were going to choke but no matter where I hid that tie, you always found it.”**

**“I’m sorry I took it.” The way she was looking to him for forgiveness made him smile and she added, “I just wanted something to remember you.”**

**Reaching for her hand, he put the tie into it and made her close her fingers around it. Holding his hand over top of hers, he shook his head, “You keep this. You took it for a reason. I only hope that from here on out you don’t need an object to replace the real thing. I mean that, Rebecca.”**

**The grandfather clock in the room chimed half past ten and they all stood motionless as they listened. Letting go of her hand, Jack was hesitant as he spoke, “I don’t want to let you go. Either of you.”**

**Standing in the doorway, Lori shook her head, “Everyone will be back here together before you know it. That’s what families do.” She went to stand beside Becky and Alyssa and nodded, “We’ve been placed along each other’s path for a reason.” Caressing Alyssa’s cheek, she smiled, “The good Lord wouldn’t set us up for failure.” Alyssa smiled back and slid an arm around Lori, “Thank you for being so kind. You made an anxious moment amazingly comfortable for both of us.”**

**“I’m not in a position to make judgements.” Leaning a little closer toward Alyssa, Lori added, “I don’t have a sister.”**

**Pulling Lori into a hug, Alyssa smiled, “I could fill that vacancy for you.” Lori returned the affection and Alyssa looked to Jack, “I’m really glad that Becky was able to connect with both of you.” Stepping closer, he reached around her for a hug, “I just knew I was going to like you if I met you.”**

**A bit of a confused stare, Alyssa questioned, “Huh?”**

**“Rebecca can fill you in later. And I can’t wait to meet Ali, Megan and everyone else.”**

**Becky nodded to confirm that she would make that happen, “I’d really like that. I’d like it if you were a part of my life again.”**

**Jack turned to face her and met her with a smile. “Honey, I never stopped. Just because we didn’t see each other doesn’t change who we are. You’ll always be my little girl and nothing will ever change that.”**

******

**Becky had brought in the last of the bags and quietly closed the door behind her. Alyssa was standing quietly, smiling. She watched her set them by the closet and then kick off her shoes before she turned again. Feeling self-conscious, Becky tried to hold back a smile and asked, “Whaa-at? You’re looking at me all funny-like…”**

**Alyssa opened one of their bags and pulled out Becky’s strap-on. Then she deliberately strolled across the room and coyly batted her eyes up at her. “I want that sexy woman from Texas with the confident swagger to take control and give it to me real good.”**

**Becky blushed at the honestly but found the direct request exciting. She liked the sound of how she’d described her and she wanted to give all of that to Alyssa. Her lips demanded control that Alyssa handed over without so much as a second thought. She stripped off her tee shirt and tossed it onto the floor beside them while Becky unzipped her blue jeans and then slid them down. She reached for Alyssa’s sport bra when she stopped and took a step back, “Take that off.” Doing as she was told, she smiled and waited for further direction. Scanning the sexy visual with her hands on her hips, Becky took her time before she finally nodded, “Ok, now the rest.”**

**After she’d completed her task, she leaned achingly close, with barely enough room for breath to escape between them. Not breaking their gaze, she challenged Becky’s stare with her own. “There’s something deep inside of me that yearns to be touched by you.” Alyssa turned away to let Becky ready herself. She listened to the soft rustle of fabric, decoding silently what article of clothing was being discarded.**

**Then, the hold of her warm hands on her hips as they guided her forward onto the bed was gentle and comforting. Her entrance was forceful yet filled with the compassion and desire that made Alyssa crave everything about her. Becky’s movements bordered at pushing her beyond the boundaries of trust and took her to a place that she never would have believed existed inside her. Her eyes closed, she buried her face into her pillow and listened to the sounds of exquisite torture that Becky was feeling. Her movements created an electricity against her skin and set every nerve ending on fire. When she reached around and slid two fingers inside her and circled her clitoris with her thumb, Alyssa knew that her body was more than prepared to respond.**

**Her orgasm was almost immediate. She cried out and the pillow muffled her response to the feelings of pleasure that Becky brought out of her in waves. Alyssa’s body tightened and it pushed Becky over the edge and her cries were a mixture of warmth, powerful vibrations and emotions that she could never control. The passion that she felt between them overwhelmed her and brought her to tears. She softly wept against Alyssa’s back as the second wave was taking control of her body, still in spasm. “Please don’t move,” she whispered out when Becky wrapped her arms tighter around her. She was waiting for the last surge of her orgasm to wreck her insides in a way that always left her emotionally ruined.**

**Becky lay still against Alyssa’s body; her breathing still uneven and somewhat labored. “Are you alright?” She was sobbing softly the way that she usually did and sniffled a little before answering, “...yes, Lys.” Pressing her lips to the warm skin of her back, she calmed herself. Running a hand gently over the expanse of dampness that their bodies created, she trailed it down along her ribs and settled it on her hip. Becky withdrew from inside her and rested herself on the bed beside Alyssa, spent and exhausted. When she thought about the trust that Alyssa relinquished when she surrendered her body, it brought her to tears.**

**Reaching out, she unfastened the harness from around Becky’s waist and slid it off her to the floor. Hair that was sticky with sweat stuck to her face and covered it as she laid very still. Brushing it away, she kissed her lips and tucked her head underneath her chin. Becky reached her arms around her and Alyssa ghosted her hand lightly over her breast. She curled her finger around her erect nipple and tugged gently. Becky sucked in a breath and pulled Alyssa closer against her. “Why do you like it when I do it that way?”**

**“Because I feel closer to you. More connected.” She nuzzled against her bare chest and their bodies melted into one another. “When I can’t see your face, it’s some of the most honest emotions. I hear everything that you’re feeling but won’t say. I even notice the most subtle changes in your body movements.”**

**Her fingertips trailed lightly across her skin as Becky thought to herself. “Do you think I’m still hiding a part of myself from you?”**

**Shaking her head, Alyssa reinforced her thoughts, “I just think it’s when you’re the most comfortable being you. There’re no expectations.” Her fingers released the soft flesh and then rested her hand over her chest where she could feel the gentle beating beneath her palm. “It’s when your heart is open.”**

**Becky pulled away a little so she could look into Alyssa’s eyes that were already on her. The nervousness in her belly forced her to make the connection but she was afraid to ask anything more than that. Immediately recognizing the familiar fear and apprehension, Alyssa whispered, “I already love you. There isn’t anything inside you that would change that.”**

**Diverting her eyes, she focused on running her hand back through the long hair that fell over her shoulders. There were times that Alyssa spoke with a passion and understanding beyond her years. It could soothe and calm her worst fears and anxieties almost instantly.**

**“Becky, do you think this is what all sex feels like or do we have something special?” Smiling to herself, she rested her hand lovingly against Alyssa’s head and massaged it into her hair. Then, there were times like now, that her innocence brought out the longing to grow old with her until their roots were so deeply embedded into one another that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. “Why do you ask?”**

**“Because what we have between us is so powerful. Does everyone feel this way?”**

**Becky pressed her lips to Alyssa’s skin and thought to herself. The very action had become a habit that grounded her when she felt unsure. Then, “You expose something that’s so raw inside me and I can’t control it. It overwhelms my emotions and I end up weeping like a child in your arms.” Silent a moment, she confessed, “There isn’t anything else in my life that’s ever done that to me.”**

**Looking up so she could see into Becky’s eyes, Alyssa smiled, “I love how vulnerable you are with me. You trust me with a side of you that you don’t share with anyone else. I would never abuse that, Rebecca.”**

**Nodding, she’d decided on her answer, “What’s between us is special, Lys. I don’t know how it measures up to anyone else but I know one thing…I can’t exist without you. You’re the exhale when I breathe. My heart can’t beat without you coursing through my veins. Everything that I feel is because I’ve touched you.”**

**Taking her face gently into her palms, Alyssa’s eyes welled with tears and she forced out the words, “For someone who doesn’t know how to express themselves with their words, you just did one hell of a number on my heart. I don’t know how it’s possible but I think I love you even more.”**

**Resting her head down again, Alyssa smiled as she spoke, “I like your father. I think he’s a good man.” Becky agreed, “He really is.” Alyssa listened and hooked one of her fingers together with one of Becky’s. “He’s going to trust me enough to give me another chance at being a part of his life.”**

**Tightening her finger, Alyssa sat up slowly and asked, “Because you’re trying to be a better person?” She sat in front of Becky, naked, with no shame. She had honestly focused on what she was saying with no regard to the sudden distraction she displayed. When she couldn’t help herself, her eyes wandered and Alyssa tugged on her finger a little. When their eyes met, Alyssa confessed in a lowered voice, “I’m worried about you.”**

**Raising her eyebrows, Becky shook her head, “Huh?”**

**“When I met you, all I knew was that you played soccer. We talked for a long time that night and not once did you say anything that was mean, rude or inappropriate. All that time that we texted and then started talking on the phone, I was falling in love with you. Everything about you.” She couldn’t help letting the start of a smile form as she thought about it all. “And then you kissed me.” Looking down, she released their fingers and captured her hand and held it lightly. “Becky, I know what you went through was wrong and none of it should have happened. Now, you have this altered image of yourself and you think that you’ll never be good enough. You have to stop.”**

**Becky tried to pull her hand away but Alyssa had already gripped it tighter. “When you say these things, it’s not you talking. It’s your mother. Whenever you feel good, you stop and let your mother’s words tear you down as if she was standing beside you, waiting for the chance to take away any feelings of accomplishment or joy.” When their eyes met again, Alyssa pulled her closer, “I don’t want to know what she thought of you. Quite honestly, I disagree with just about everything she had to say. Looking at those pictures today and seeing the relationship that you had with your father, was enough to see, I fell in love with the real you. Don’t remind me to look for your faults and the cracks in your personality. When your father was looking at you, all he could see was that little girl surrounded by bunnies, on Easter.” Alyssa started to laugh and went on, “You’re the one who kept taking that country western string tie that he hid because you wanted to be just like him. When I see you, I see my future. You’re my protector…” It was obvious when she stopped talking that she needed the feeling of security she’d been describing.**

**Becky kissed her lips and then wrapped her arms around Alyssa. She held her in a loving but protective way that made it clear; nothing would ever hurt her without going through her first. “What we have is special, Lys. You and I are special.” Becky knew how hard it was for her when she tried to put herself out there and Alyssa had taken a big risk to say what she had. Her honesty deserved a lot more than the unnecessary anxiety and negativity. There was already enough of that in their world and Becky decided she could be better than that. She was sure that, inside of her, she was capable of the same unconditional love that Alyssa was offering. Pulling her back down to rest in her arms, she realized, “I guess I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. I started out that way because he’s a big part of who I am, too.”**

**Alyssa snuggled in against her, speaking softly, “Your mother saw the potential inside of you. That’s the only thing your father sees.” Her voice became quiet, “It’s all I see…”**

**Becky tenderly sheltered her in her arms, kissing her shoulder lightly, as she felt her body begin to relax. They both nodded off together with a contentment that brought them a deep healthy sleep that they needed to recover.**

*****

**Becky and Alyssa were the first ones up the next morning. The sun was barely breaking the dawn and the couple were in the kitchen preparing breakfast before the departure. Ali, on the other hand, was still calling up to Megan and Ashlyn to hurry to get ready. The van would be there in less than an hour. Megan descended the stairs while she did her best impression of a zombie. She lumbered down in an almost stumbling way and her acknowledgement to anyone’s questions largely resembled a grunt, a groan or somewhere in between. She flopped on the sofa and then Ali took matters into her own hands, “AAAAAAASH! GET DOWN HERE NOOOOOOOOOOW!” Megan buried her face underneath a pillow and Alyssa giggled into Becky’s shoulder. Her voice pierced the still morning and then there was silence again, save for the random thumps and thundering loud bangs from above.**

**Alyssa finished stacking a pile of cheese omelet burritos with pieces of bacon inside for everyone to eat on the shuttle on the way to the airport. She wrapped each one, placed a bottle of juice in the bag with it and folded the top of the bag. She handed Becky her special breakfast bag that had no bacon in the burrito and added a kiss in its place. “I’m going to really miss you.”**

**Reciprocating with a kiss in return, Becky questioned, “You’ll watch the game? Maybe I’ll play…” Alyssa laughed at the possibility of her _NOT_ watching the game, “Of course I will. Score a goal for me.” She smiled and Becky was ready to blush when Alyssa sternly added, “Do _NOT_ get a card. I mean it.”**

**Becky very soberly promised, “I’ll be good. I’m ok.” Alyssa then leaned in for another kiss, wrinkling her nose, “And have fun!”**

**Sliding an arm around her waist, Becky whispered, “When I come home, we can celebrate our one month anniversary.”**

**The van outside, honked twice and Ali and Megan walked outside to load up the shuttle. Becky was leaning Alyssa back against the kitchen counter, engaged in a kiss, holding her hostage. They turned suddenly when they heard the sound of a suitcase tumbling down the stairs. Once it reached the bottom, she watched Ashlyn scale the staircase two at a time, chasing after it. Ali returned to the foyer and took a duffel bag from her hand and Ashlyn scurried after the suitcase.**

**Focusing again, Becky pulled herself away from their kisses and whispered, “If you need anything…if there’s any problem….”**

**Alyssa smiled and picked up one of her bags, “Let’s get you all packed.” Picking up her own bag, Becky reluctantly followed her outside. As they stood behind the loaded van, the doors ajar, they stood close enough that their lips were grazing each other’s with a feather light touch. They were holding one another in an almost desperate embrace, Alyssa clutching at Becky’s tee shirt, “I love you.” Becky held her waist with both hands, her touch reassuring her reluctance to leave.**

**In the back row of the van, Ali gave Megan a side-eye, who was turned completely around on her knees staring out the rear window with impatience. Ashlyn looked over at Ali and took her hand into her own and questioned, “Megan, are we that annoying as a couple?”**

**Thinking a moment, Megan shook her head, “First of all, you’re all annoying in your own way.” Leaning across Ashlyn, so she could reach, Ali swatted at Megan, “Stop that. They’re newlyweds.”**

**Dodging her swing, Megan looked out the back window again, then answered, “No. Not as annoying as those two. I could probably tolerate you guys over them at a 5:1 ratio.” Ali giggled and leaned against Ashlyn’s shoulder and tightened her hold on her hand.**

**With dramatic flair, worthy of an Emmy, she glanced down at the time on her phone. At this point, their kisses took up way too much time for her to bear another moment. Sighing, Megan leaned out the side window to yell, “Let’s go! She’s not going off to war!”**

**Forcing herself to let go, Alyssa backed up a few steps, “I love being married to you.” Closing the rear doors, Becky asked, “Kiss Rae for me?” Alyssa nodded and retreated to the porch to put more distance between them. She waved at her friends as they drove away and held back the foolish feelings that were making her want to cry. She giggled a little thinking about Megan’s comment about going to war. She would see them all again in a couple weeks.**

**When she was alone, standing in the living room, she heard the tapping of little feet on the linoleum in the kitchen. “Rae?” The tiny nose of the tan chihuahua peeked around the doorway to investigate. Alyssa smiled and called, “Are you looking for me?” She knelt down, patted her hand, “Come here, sweetheart.” Racing toward Alyssa, Rae barked and playfully stamped her feet, demanding to be picked up. Petting her head, she rolled over onto the carpet and let Rae prop her front paws on Alyssa’s chest. “Are you trying to tackle me?” Lifting her up the rest of the way, letting her stand, she asked, “Are you all ready to take a trip?”**

*** ***

**Lying on her back in the grass, sucking air, Becky breathed out in a labored wheeze, “Ashlyn, you lied to me.” Her rapid breaths came in forced succession. Ali collapsed beside them on the ground and rolled onto her side, “Did I survive?”**

**Becky blindly reached her arm out and lightly punched. When Ali grunted in response, the blow landing over her solar plexus, Becky answered, “Yeah. You’re alive.”**

**“How did I lie?” Ashlyn was sitting up, pouring what was left of her water bottle over her head in an attempt to cool off. The sun was low in the California sky but it still threw off a heat that had taken its toll on them.**

**“You said he’d be happy he finally collected me and Ali for the team.” Opening her eyes halfway, her hand shielding her eyes from the sun, Becky groaned, “He hates us. He totally hates us. This is torture.”**

**Ali rolled onto her side and threw an arm across Becky, “I second that.”**

**Pushing herself to her feet, Ashlyn promised, “If he’s hating on anyone, trust me, it’s me, Lys and Megan. We rolled up the morning after you guys won the championship, with a hangover.”**

**Looking up at Ashlyn, Becky raised an eyebrow, “Huh?”**

**Sitting halfway up, propping herself on her elbows, Ali asked, “You’re just gonna leave that out there with no explanation?” Her dry sense of humor was enabling the environment and lightening the mood. Gesturing to herself and Becky, she went on, “Interested parties…right here. Ready when you are…”**

**“Lys was drunk?” Becky sat up and wiped her eyes. Megan came from behind the group and settled herself between her and Ali, “What’re we chatting about, ladies?”**

**Lowering her voice when a few people made their way past them, Ashlyn answered, “Our rooftop party last summer.”**

**Her hands clapped together and Megan rolled backwards, feet in the air, “Oh, yeah! I forgot all about our drunken bender.” Quickly sitting up and leaning in, as if secret plans were being divulged, she smiled wide, “We have got to do that again.”**

**Almost simultaneously, Becky and Ali shrugged her off of them, with an immediately annoyed stance. Ali narrowed her eyes, “Are you nuts?”**

**“There was a lot going on,” Ashlyn defended. “I forgot all about the whole dynamic.”**

**Scrunching her face, remembering the tension, Megan avoided the obvious topic, “That was the day you met Alyssa.” Turning and pointing to Becky, she nudged her a little with her hip. Her eyebrows wiggled in a suggestive dance that made Becky roll her eyes and look away before she could blush. Pressing the issue, she begged, “Let’s go, dish.”**

**Becky turned to frown at her and Megan whined, “Oh, c ‘mon.” Using her fingers as a unit of measure, she pleaded, “Just a little…where were you two?”**

**Looking to Ali for help, she was met with an interest from her friend that made her relent, “I was in the conference room talking with a group of the girls about random stuff. At some point, while I there, she came in and sat down in the back. She was quiet, didn’t ask anything but was hyper focused. Little by little, everybody was going to bed and it was just me, her and Dunn. When she got up to leave, Alyssa had grabbed a couple bottles of water and handed me one.”**

**Gathering their things, the group began walking toward the main building as Becky talked. “It was just the two of us and she asked me how it was playing in Europe. It was such a crap question, you know? Something you ask when you just want to make conversation. I thought she was being trite but she was actually really nervous. I gave her a smart ass answer and she laughed and I laughed and…” She took a swallow of water and remembered, “We sat there for like three hours after curfew. It certainly didn’t feel like it.”**

**Megan shoved Ashlyn a little and laughed, “It’s gonna be like old times tonight, isn’t it?”**

**Becky questioned, “How’s that?”**

**Pulling open the glass door, Megan threw her arm around Ashlyn, “I’m rooming with my old buddy here and you two are reliving the summer of glory.”**

**Shaking her head, Ashlyn mumbled, “Promise me one of you saved up for bail.” Snickering, Ali remembered the way that Megan would torment the blonde when they were on video calls. She was always somewhere in the background making faces. It took everything inside her to keep her composure until Ashlyn would notice and there would be a chase ending with Megan pinned on the ground.**

**Becky walked quietly along, running her fingers over her hand where her wedding band should have been. It felt oddly naked without it in its usual place. Ali knew the feeling as she looked down at her own hand, the subtle tan line where her own engagement ring usually sat. They collectively agreed to keep things private even though the majority of their teammates were now well aware of their relationships. It was too much of a gamble so early in their careers to make grand statements.**

**When Becky stopped, Ali asked, “What’s wrong?” Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her cell phone and announced, “I forgot. I’m meeting with one of the reps from my management team. Adidas wants to talk and there’s an endorsement offer for Gatorade.”**

**Punching her arm, Megan nodded, “Good going.”**

**Punching her back, Becky shook her head, “Don’t make me side with Ashlyn. It’ll be an unfair fight.”**

**Ali giggled and leaned her head on the blonde’s arm until she stepped behind her, “Oh, hell. Guess who’s here?”**

**Ashlyn scanned the large common room until her stare focused on the opposite side of the large space. Letting out a laugh, Ashlyn mocked, “I’d love to see who she thinks she’s going to represent on this team. Honestly.”**

**Shrinking further out of sight, Ali shook her head, “I can’t imagine but I’m so not up for the drama.” Megan and Becky were trying to place who they were referencing and Megan asked, “The short little red head? Who is that?”**

**With one ear on the present conversation, Becky held the phone to her ear. Ashlyn nodded, “She blew Ali’s interest deals last summer when she found out we were together.” Megan watched the woman talking business on her phone as she handed out cards to some nearby associates. Shaking her head, Becky frowned at the topic. She remembered Ali talking about the awards ceremony in Europe.**

**Ali grumbled, “I guess I grew up that summer. She was so rude.” Ashlyn bowed her head and moaned out, “Ugh, she saw me.” Megan waved sarcastically when she noticed her watching from across the room. When she began to slowly cross the room toward them, Ashlyn threw an elbow into her side, “What the hell is wrong with you? Who needs this?” Becky returned to her friends and asked, “Now what did she do?”**

**Rosa approached the group as she threw her hand out with a plastic grin that had them all wide-eyed. Avoiding Megan, she stepped around her and introduced, “Hello. You must be Rebecca? It’s nice to finally meet you.”**

******

**Alyssa stood at the counter, waiting for them to retrieve Rae from wherever they’d had her stowed away during the flight. It made her so nervous to see them walking away with the small travel crate. She felt terrible for contemplating leaving her with a boarding facility again while the house was empty and everyone was away. However, she hadn’t accounted for putting her in a crate and then leaving her as luggage during the flight.**

**The platform for receiving was crowded with people and it was difficult to stay in one place for too long before she was being ushered to the opposite side of the ramp. Slowly, she’d make her way to the other side, before another round of people would edge her further back.**

**When she spotted the airline representative with Rae’s crate, she raised her hand and waved. Once they’d made the transfer, she hurried to the exit so she could open the crate door and assure Rae that she was in fact not a prisoner. Outside, by the curbside, she sat against the cement ledge and held the tiny pup in her arms and hugged her, “I told you I’d be back. Settling against her, finally at ease, Rae closed her eyes and relaxed. Alyssa scratched behind her ears and soothed softly until she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.**

**There was a text from Lori, asking if she’d made it to the gate. She answered that she was already outside at the loading zone. Lori described her car so Alyssa could look for her while she made the approach. Waving, once she spotted the navy BMW, she stepped closer to the curb.**

**Lori met Alyssa on the passenger side and greeted her with an affectionate hug, “It’s good to see you again. Who’s this?” Her finger delicately stroking the soft fur on her head, Alyssa introduced, “This is Rae. Becky gave her to me for Christmas.”**

**“She’s precious.”**

**Alyssa peeked in the window and smiled, “Hi, Hannah!”**

**Both of her hands, frantically bouncing in the air, Hannah giggled out, “Mamamama…..ahh ha..” Her laughter was infectious, forcing Alyssa to mimic her sounds happily. Popping the trunk, Lori put the small crate beside the bag Alyssa brought.**

**“How was your flight?”**

**Settling herself in the front passenger seat, “Uneventful. Just how I like it.”**

**Lori turned briefly to check Hannah, “You don’t like to fly?”**

**“I always have this anxious feeling that I’m lost, forgetting something or I’m going to miss my flight.” As they pulled away from the curb, the traffic became thick and they found themselves at a standstill. Leaning back in her seat, Lori sighed, “Well this is fun.” Reaching a hand out so she could pet Rae, she asked, “Did Becky give you the third degree about coming here?”**

**Alyssa shook her head, “She’s not like that. She was more concerned about imposing on you and her dad. She didn’t want to feel like a bother.”**

**“She’s really defensive, isn’t she?”**

**Smiling, Alyssa corrected, “Independent. But if she’s being stubborn, I’ll tell her stop acting like a lone wolf. That embarrasses her enough that she knocks it off.”**

**Lori laughed out loud, “You really have a way of handling her.”**

**Holding Rae close, Alyssa’s tone dropped and she nodded, “I think I learned how to pay attention to the things people want to say but can’t. There’s always some underlying subtext. Especially with Becky. She always feels like none of her actions are going to affect those around her. She’ll tell me what she thinks I want to hear but not the truth about how she feels.”**

**Inching the car along the traffic jam, Lori asked, “Was she like that when you met her? What made you want to be with someone like that?”**

**Alyssa looked over at Lori in thought and she immediately apologized, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”**

**“It was so subtle that I thought it was just insecurity. Neither of us had ever been in any kind of relationship and we both had such intense feelings for one another.” Smiling, Lori turned onto the onramp for the highway and nodded, “I can relate.”**

**Alyssa turned toward her a little wanting to hear more. “Jackson and I felt so strongly about each other that we wanted to have a product of our love. Something to show how beautiful we are together.” Glancing back at Hannah, who was almost asleep, Alyssa whispered, “That’s amazing.”**

**Once they were on the highway, leaving Dallas, Lori adjusted her seat for the long drive ahead, “How long were you together?”**

**“If you count all the texting and phone calls, five months.” Alyssa had noticed the landscape begin to change and she studied the scenery.”**

**“Five months?”**

**Her question prompted Alyssa to return to her story. “You think that’s fast, right?”**

**“That’s when you got married?”**

**“No. That’s when I broke up with her.”**

**“I don’t understand.”**

**“Our relationship changed around the holidays.”**

**Lori held back her smile and asked, “Who wanted to wait?”**

**Sensing the indecision in her curiosity, Alyssa told her, “Guess.”**

**Working out her answer in her head, as if it were a math problem, Lori questioned, “Becky?”**

**“I guess that wasn’t a fair question because we were both hesitant but I suppose so. I was usually the one who stopped us but she was unsure.”**

**“Is that why you broke up? Things got complicated?”**

**“Not because of that. I think it made her admit to herself she had feelings. She always wanted to act like she was a robot. After that, she was so emotional.”**

**“I can tell that she’s got a lot of feelings but she doesn’t like looking vulnerable.”**

**Forcing out a laugh, Alyssa nodded, “Big time. She doesn’t like to appear weak. It pisses her off. That’s when she ends up saying something dumb.”**

**“Oh, no. What did she say?”**

**“New Year’s Day we got word that we’d been traded. Opposite locations. We were both upset. We went back to her place and…one thing led to another and I started to cry. She stood there and just stared. She asked me to please stop crying but all I could think about was how hard it would be to maintain our relationship. Then, she went into her room and slammed the door. When she came out, she said she was taking me home and said I wouldn’t have to worry anymore.”**

**“What did that mean?” Lori could tell the conversation had taken a turn and she was preparing herself for what was next.**

**“By the time we got to my place, she couldn’t keep her eyes open. She kept nodding off. I told her to come in with me and get some rest. We got halfway through the house before she collapsed.”**

**Her eyes narrowed in confusion, Lori shook her head, “Why?”**

**“She took some pills and I didn’t know it.” Shrugging up a shoulder, she bowed her head, “She overdosed.”**

**Her voice softening, Lori gripped the wheel tighter, “Oh my God, Alyssa.”**

**“On of our roommates called 911 and they gave her Narcan. It brought her back around.”**

**Giving Alyssa a sympathetic side glance, Lori looked as if she wanted to cry, “That must have been so scary for you.”**

**Kissing Rae’s head, Alyssa nodded, “That’s why I broke up with her. It was the most selfish thing she could have done.”**

**“Did she say what her thinking was?”**

**Leaning her head against the window, Alyssa noticed the colors of the countryside. They were bright and vibrant, more so than she remembered from the weekend. “She said the thought of living without me in her life hurt too much.”**

**Putting her hand on Alyssa’s shoulder, Lori glanced over, “Honey, I know how wrong it was for her to do that to you but you’re both so young and full of emotions.”**

**“I was selfish too.” Briefly looking up, she added, “I just realized how childish it was for me to break up with her instead of trying to help her. She needed me and I was interested in punishing her.”**

**“You were upset. You’re allowed to have feelings.” Lori’s voice was full of compassion, “You both love so hard on each other.”**

**“I can’t imagine what she must have been going through and I cut her off. We didn’t speak again until that last game I played.”**

**“Honestly?”**

**Alyssa nodded. “And when I got hit, she was right there by my side, making sure I was alright. She took out her own teammate, risking her whole season, because she didn’t want me to get hurt.”**

**Lori smiled to herself, “That sounds about right.”**

**“What does…”**

**“Becky sounds very loyal. Her father is the same way. One of the reasons that we ended up spending so much time together was because he refused to budge on a verbal agreement he’d made with an associate. Their company was on the verge of bankruptcy and no longer meeting the needs of the farm but I couldn’t convince him to switch to another supplier.”**

**“What ended up happening?”**

**Lori blushed a little as she spoke, “He bought half of the stock so he could reorganize their priorities.”**

**“That sounds expensive.”**

**“It was a risk.” Lori made a turn and added, “Not only did he save that company but he turned them around and they’re prospering like you wouldn’t imagine.” Pulling into the small parking lot of the cafe, she questioned, “You must be hungry by now, right? Please say that you are…”**

**Alyssa smiled, “That’s a good idea.” Turning in her seat to look at Hannah, she laughed a little, “When does she get fussy?” The child was napping peacefully, her head resting against the cushioned guard, hair the color of Becky’s cascading across her face.**

**Opening her door, Lori shook her head, “Whenever I’m really not in the mood to play around, she decides to fuss.”**

**The small outside cafe had tables and benches around them all along the side of the building with the vast scenery as the majestic backdrop. The outdoor BBQ pit sent the most mouth watering smells wafting through the air and Alyssa could feel her stomach growl, “Yeah, this looks great.”**

**Opening the rear passenger door, Lori was unfastening the safety belts, “Wake up, sugar.” Hannah slowly opened her eyes and sleepily surveyed her surroundings. Regardless of the familiarity, she smiled and made happy sounds that made it very clear she wanted out of the car seat. As she lifted her baby up and held her in her arms against her, Lori promised, “You’ll love it here. You can’t sell this little roadside short; they make the best food.” She kissed Hannah on the nose and whispered, “This is mommy and daddy’s favorite place.” Alyssa smiled at the purity and simplicity of the surroundings. Based on appearances, the couple could most likely have dinner at any 5-star restaurant in Dallas. However, the quaint little eatery seemed to hold a place in her heart that was probably more expensive than any meal in the city. “Are you ok if I change her? I’ll be right back.”**

**“I can do that,” Alyssa promised.**

**Picking up the diaper bag, Lori nodded, “Yes, you can and you’ll have plenty of time for that.” Gesturing toward the tables, she directed, “Sit down, look at the menu. I’ll be right back.”**

**Respectfully nodding, she watched Lori head towards the bathrooms and Hannah waved from over her shoulder. Her green eyes were always so bright and she wondered if Becky was the same way when she was a baby. Lori was making sure not to overextend her, which she appreciated but was a new feeling. In her mind, she was still and always would be a high caliber athlete regardless of what the doctors told her. She felt like she was being held back now and she had supportive people around her who meant well but it was going to take some time.**

**Setting Rae down, she walked past the tables and out further along the prairie. The grasslands were filled with things to investigate and held Rae’s attention as long as Alyssa was nearby and didn’t wander too far away. Her nose attempted to define every new scent that she discovered while her ears raised at attention to filter the array of sounds that saturated the landscape. A small prairie dog poked its head up out of the ground and the two locked eyes for a brief moment before Rae came stumbling back to Alyssa for safety. She squeaked out a bark and raised up to scratch at her leg, whining to be rescued from the perilous ground. Stifling a smile, she headed toward a table and then sat, waiting as Rae made her jump up into her lap. “I have a feeling you’re going to have a very special dinner.” Making a comfortable burro out of a small blanket, she set Rae beside her on the bench to cuddle within its security. Then, her hand went to her head and she ran her fingers through her soft fur. “My spoiled girl,” she whispered.**

**Alyssa was reading the menu board when Lori came from bathroom walking very slowly, holding Hannah’s hand, as the baby happily toddled along with her. She was so pleased with her new found accomplishment and wrinkled her nose as she smiled along her journey. Her arms open, Alyssa scooped her up when she was close enough and held her in an embrace, “What a walking little girl, you are!”**

**Setting the bag down, Lori warned, “If I don’t let her take that energy on the road, it’s going to be a late night.”**

**Alyssa laughed and Hannah looked up at her and mimicked the happy giggle as she wrinkled her nose again in response. “When Becky is completely at ease and lets her guard down, she laughs the same way…nose crinkle and all.” Hannah busied herself climbing higher up in Alyssa’s arms and was sightseeing everything around her. Standing on Alyssa’s lap, she balanced as Alyssa held her hands to give her buoyancy. Then, distracted by her own curiosity, she leaned over Alyssa’s shoulder and pointed. Meeting Lori’s amused stare, she struggled to contain the burst of wiggling energy. “Did you take her in the bathroom and give her a candy bar?” Lori giggled as she sat across from them while Hannah was searching for her next target of interest. “It’s all snuggles and kisses at the end of a long hard day but fresh from a nap is no joke.”**

**Finally, Alyssa convinced her sit on her lap at the table so she could investigate her bag. She was particularly interested in the shoulder strap that eluded her undexterous hands as they fumbled to catch it swinging from Alyssa’s free hand.**

**“Does anything look good to you? My personal favorite is the ‘Homegrown Meal.’ It’s got a little bit of everything and they season everything just right.” She read the description and her mouth began to water, “That sounds amazing. Is that what you’re getting?”**

**Lori nodded, “And Hannah’s got some crackers, juice and I think I could cut up a hot dog. Hold the good stuff.”**

**Alyssa laughed, “I can’t imagine the mess she could make with a chili cheese dog.”**

**Lori watched the chase with the strap and confirmed, “Epic.”**

**“Could I also get a ‘little bite’?” Dropping the strap, her hand went to Rae’s head, “I think she might want to try some of the local cuisine.”**

**Hannah had all but emptied the entire contents of her bag on the table and was examining her key ring. It had all the attributes of about five minutes worth of interest. The movement, the shining keys, and jingling sounds kept her busy while they agreed on sweet tea.**

**Lori returned to the table with a tray and set it down. She saw Alyssa holding Hannah’s hands as she walked as steadily as she could, giving chase to Rae who was playing round up. The Chihuahua was circling the youngster who made her best attempts to reach her before stopping and giggling uncontrolled. Alyssa was calling out to Rae, to come get them and before the puppy was near enough, she would encourage Hannah to go and get her. The trio were a sight that made Lori take out her phone to capture some video. Watching Hannah trying to run after the dog under Alyssa’s guidance was just precious.**

**Waving her hand, Lori asked, “Anybody hungry?” Alyssa acknowledged her with a nod and then knelt down. Hannah collapsed into her arms in a happy giggle and waited for Rae. Tapping her hand on the ground, Alyssa called, “Come here, girl.” Obediently, she padded closer and sat at her feet. “See, Hannah,” Alyssa fluffed through Rae’s fur with her fingers. “Nice doggy.” Hannah reached her hand out slowly and mimicked Alyssa’s movements and then looked for approval. She smiled at the innocence and without provocation, she leaned in and hugged Alyssa.**

**When she returned to the table, Alyssa had a hint of tears in the corners of her eyes. Placing Hannah in the seat guard that Lori brought, she excused herself, “I’ll be right back.”**

**Reaching out a hand, Lori bowed her head a little, “Are you alright?”**

**Nodding, she assured, “I just need a minute.” Before she turned, she patted her hip gently, “Rae, this way.” Following along, Rae kept up to make sure she was where she needed to be to keep Alyssa in her sight.**

**On the opposite side of the building, on a bench beside the bathrooms, Alyssa cried into her hands. There was an overwhelming amount of emotions that surged inside her and it had crested beyond her ability to control it. She sniffled and tapped her lap for Rae who jumped onto the bench and sat at her side watching. She rested her little head on her leg and waited for Alyssa to pet her head, as per the usual. Her hand immediately tussling through her fur, she took a deep breath and shook her head, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me all of the sudden with this baby.”**

**Rae sat up and her tiny little tail with a bit of color on the tip, wagged furiously in response to her question. Taking her phone out, she checked the time. Weighing the possibilities in her head, she pushed the call button for Becky.**

**“Hi, Lys!”**

**Just the sound of Becky’s voice made her stomach flutter. Clearing her throat, she answered back, “Hi. Is it a bad time?”**

**“Not at all. I was getting ready to go down to eat soon. How are you? Do you feel alright?” The excitement in her voice was energizing. Becky loved the faster pace and no matter how much she might deny it, she’d choose that environment over everything else every time.**

**“I’m good. I feel fine. Lori is doing everything that I’m sure you instructed.” The last part of her answer had enough on it that Becky lowered her voice and asked, “Lys, what’s wrong?”**

**Feeling silly for her biting response, she lightened her tone, “Nothing. We’re almost home. We stopped at this roadside BBQ that Lori said is the best around and we’re going to eat. I was running around with Rae and Hannah in the prairie out back. You should see them play together. How’s the first three days of camp?”**

**There was a pause and then Becky began slowly, “You’re at Maggie’s.” Alyssa could tell she was smiling as she spoke. “I can’t vouch for the BBQ but they have killer baked beans and their cole slaw is out of this world.”**

**“Lori talked me into this burger that has everything but the kitchen sink on it.”**

**Becky laughed out loud, “I know what one you mean. The ‘Homegrown’, right? I know you’ve got a cast iron stomach but I’ll be interested to hear how you fair with that.”**

**“And how about you? Are you playing nice?” Alyssa really was curious to hear if she was fitting in well with the team.**

**“It’s kind of amazing. I love the girls here, they’re all really good. The dynamic is interesting. Coach pulled me aside and said he wanted to meet the first night I was here. I thought he was going to put me in my place and warn me right away.”**

**“What did he say?”**

**“He called me into his office and he started telling me about this plan he had laid out for me. He told me he wants me to play a big part in the future of the team. He said he’s been watching me and he knows what I’m capable of and he wants to utilize all of it.” It sounded like everyone was friendly and she was excited to be included in his blueprint that would complement her style of play. “He thinks Ali and I are going to work well together.”**

**“That’s great.”**

**“Oh and I signed with Adidas. Remind me to tell you about that.” She hesitated before she went on, “I miss you, Lys. I don’t want to hang up but I have to go.”**

**“I know how it is. You don’t want to be the one showing up late.” She reassured Becky of her well being to set her mind at ease. The last thing she needed was a distraction. She could hear her gathering things together in the background and then it was quiet.**

**“I love you, Lys. I wish you were here.” Her tone softened again, “Are you really alright?” She was looking for confirmation.**

**Alyssa had closed her eyes so she could imagine Becky, sitting on the edge of her bed in the hotel room, probably wearing a tank top as they talked. Her mind picturing every detail, she smiled and nodded when presented with her question, forgetting that she couldn’t see her.**

**“Lys?”**

**Laughing at herself, she apologized, “Yes, I’m sorry. Some of the BBQ just wafted by.”**

**Becky let out a soft chuckle, “Well you’ve officially made me hungry.” Unable to contain her grin, Alyssa answered, “You’re very welcome.” There were a few moments of silence and the brunette added, “Go ahead, before you’re late. Tell the girls I said hello.”**

**The phone resting in her lap, she took a deep breath, letting her body defuse from the longing that was tugging on her. Rae poked her head underneath Alyssa’s hand and pushed herself up onto her leg. Glancing down, she smiled and scratched behind her ears. Standing on her hind legs, the tan bundle reached up against Alyssa’s body and she barked out, startling her. “I know. It’s ok.”**

**Rae jumped as she stood, still stretching her little body in a futile attempt to be held. Resting a hand on her head, Alyssa shielded her face with the other when her jumping scraped her neck. “Stop,” she softly scolded. “I’m not picking you up.”**

**Tapping her paws against her chest, Rae squeaked out a rapid fire line of barks until Alyssa huffed out, “That’s enough.” When she scooped her up and leaned over to set her down, Rae turned and nipped at her hand. “Hey!” Pulling back, she frowned and shook her head when the puppy began jumping up again and pawing at her leg. “Let’s go eat. Come with me…” Patting her leg as she walked, Rae followed along close behind and continued to repeatedly bark.**

**Turning in her chair when she heard Rae, Lori smiled, “Everything ok?”**

**Her eyebrows raised, Alyssa threw her hands up, “My dog’s turned cannibal.”**

**Handing her the small plate with the plain burger, Alyssa removed it from the bun and began breaking the meat up into small bite sized pieces. Rae’s barking accompanied her jumping up against her leg until she sat down at the table and set the plate beside her feet.**

**Taking a few long swallows of the cold sweet tea, she let out a sigh, “Oh, that’s good stuff.”**

**Lori nodded and took another bite of her burger. Hannah was working on some finger foods when she caught Alyssa’s eye and stopped chewing. When their eyes met, the child smiled shyly and then hid her face with her hands. Curiosity winning out, she peeked up and when Alyssa smiled at her, she quickly looked away again.**

**Reaching for the tea again, she slid her plate closer and reassembled the burger. Rae hopped up on her hind legs again and started barking until Alyssa acknowledged her. Her paws tapped at her leg repeatedly until she sat back and let her jump into her lap again. Her mouth suddenly dry, she took another drink. The display on her wrist was flashing and it caught her eye as it unexpectedly changed from green to light green and then yellow. The arrow was trending down in real time and she ripped open some sugar packs and dumped them into her tea. As she stirred with her straw, Lori questioned, “Not sweet en…” She noticed her pale pallor and asked, “What can I do?”**

**When the tea was gone, she took a big bite of her sandwich and chewed, “Oh, god, that’s unbelievable.” Following it up with a fork full of sweet cole slaw, she checked her display again. The flashing had slowed and it was positioned at eighty-three. The arrow was lazily coming to a halt as it settled on a pale green hue. “I don’t think the alarm is going to go off.” Looking up at Lori, she took another bite, “I think I caught it.”**

**Rae had settled in her lap, sitting attentively, watching her. Her ears raised, her head tilted to one side and she let out a subtle whine. Taking another bite, a rush of adrenaline flooded her senses and made her heart race as she snapped her head down and stared at her puppy. Her little nose twitched and she lowered her head to rest against Alyssa’s body. Meeting Lori’s concerned stare, she shook her head in disbelief, “Rae was telling me my sugar was about to drop. It’s coming up now and she’s calmed down.”**

**“Is that possible?”**

**“I can’t believe it but it has to be. I remember when I was alone in my apartment, she wouldn’t let me fall asleep until I ate a Peppermint Patty. And I’ve been awaken in the middle of the night because she keeps thumping her feet against me.” Cradling her in her arms, she apologized, “I’m so sorry. You were trying to protect me, weren’t you?” Kissing her head, she set her on the ground beside her plate, “Eat some of your hamburger.”**

**Quickly taking another bite of her sandwich, she checked the display again that was now holding steady at eighty-five. “Do you feel ok,” Lori asked.**

**“I do,” she nodded. “That whole event was surreal.”**

**“Did you feel it happening?”**

**Alyssa shook her head slightly as she thought, “Not really. My mouth went dry but I was just irritated with Rae.” Looking down and watching her sample the burger, she mused, “I’ll bet she’s saved my life two or three times now and I didn’t realize it.”**

**“You’re alright now?”**

**The display was completely in the dark green hue and she was up over one hundred, “I think so.”**

**Hannah tossed a cracker across the table and let out a giggle. “Everything happens for a reason, Alyssa.” Taking a napkin and wiping off Hannah’s face as she struggled to avoid her, she smiled a little, “It can feel as if your whole world is falling apart until that one thing happens to shake all the pieces into place.”**

**Hannah put both of her hands over her mouth to hide from the napkin that was attacking her as Alyssa reached out a hand to smooth through her hair. “You’re very spiritual, aren’t you?”**

**Lori looked across the table and met Alyssa’s question with a confident response, “I am. I have faith that there’s a plan for me.”**

**“What if I don’t believe that?”**

**“You don’t?”**

**“I’m asking your response if I say I don’t.” Lori sensed the underlying dissent and looked away to gather up the mess Hannah had made.**

**“If you say you don’t, then I ask what you do have faith in? I can’t imagine going through life feeling that I’m lost and alone. I’m so afraid a lot of the time of things I have no control over. But at the end of the day, whether you believe in Jesus or not, you can’t deny that there is something greater than us. Something that guides us, helps us find one another and brings us together to make us stronger.”**

**Alyssa listened as Lori spoke but didn’t look up at her. As angry as she wanted to be, she couldn’t find fault with the possibility that it wasn’t random that she met Becky that night. The possibility that they had both gone through the hell that they did growing up only so they could emotionally bond over it years later and fill the void the other was lacking. They understand one another in a way no one could ever understand because they recognize the feeling of distrust and abandonment.**

**Rae was sitting at her feet watching her when she noticed and couldn’t help but smile. “That’s a pretty good answer.” Alyssa stole a quick glance under a bowed head. Their eyes met briefly and Lori nodded to the prairie behind her, “Would you look at that?”**

**The brilliant sunset in the sky blended the clouds like watercolors. The way the light streaked through them and cast rays of pastel; illuminations that softened into what would soon be the end of the day. Her breath hitched in her chest at the majestic landscape.**

**Standing, Lori cradled Hannah in her arms and met Alyssa at her side. They stood quietly witnessing the reds and oranges slowly become soft purple and blue. It was a sight that demanded attention and dared any living soul to challenge the power of internal spirit. “Jack asked me to marry him here at sunset.” Her voice was almost a whisper; her emotions in high gear. Alyssa didn’t dare break her gaze on the horizon for fear of losing control of her own.**

**“Remember I told you about the company that was going bankrupt?”**

**Alyssa nodded.**

**“It was my father’s company.” Lori kissed the top of Hannah’s head as she rested it against her mother’s chest; her full belly and security of Lori’s arms providing the perfect blanket of calm. “I took care of all of the accounting and bookkeeping and I could see the company failing. Every month, I was on the phone apologizing for the delays in fulfilling orders. The shipments were falling short of the demands and clients began aneling their accounts. There wasn’t much more that could be done, we had too much overhead. At best, we’d be bankrupt in a year.”**

**Running her fingers through Hannah’s hair as she slept, Lori hugged her a little tighter. “I went to annual ‘supply show’ in Dallas with the intentions of telling him he needed to make other arrangements. The whole drive, my father talked about trying to streamline an already overextended distribution plant, so he wouldn’t have to lay off all the worker’s there.”**

**“Becky’s father and my father have been friends their whole lives. Family businesses that’ve been handed down from their fathers’. There were no legal contracts binding one another to the business. They had a gentleman’s agreement based on integrity that meant more than money.”**

**“We toured the show together, familiar faces, everyone a longtime acquaintance. The expressions were all the same, everyone knowing, our business was crumbling. After dinner, when the cigars and the whiskey at the bar in rounds began, I knew it was time to go. They would all laugh and play cards and make wagers on the world series well into the night.”**

**“I excused myself for the night and before I left the dining room, I made sure to talk to Jack. I told him that we weren’t going to be able to operate the plant for too much longer and I could put him in touch with alternative suppliers. He basically said that was nonsense and that we should set up a meeting to discuss business.”**

**Alyssa let a smile creep onto her face and she lightly nudged her, “He liked you.”**

**Lori blushed and nodded. “He took me to dinner and I ran through all these facts and figures and showed him all the projections. I forecasted the next year and showed him a plan to keep his supply demands constant. He patiently listened and agreed with my calculations and when I was out of breath from talking he asked if I was all done. At first I was offended, feeling patronized, until he apologized. He said he didn’t mean it that way. He said he needed to think about it all and set up a follow up meeting to settle the matter. Once I got all that out in the open, he wanted to just talk, get to know me. He said we’d be spending a lot of time together and it made sense.”**

**Alyssa giggled and asked, “How many dinners before you realized…”**

**Laughing at herself, Lori pursed her lips and grudgingly answered, “Maybe three.”**

**The two exchanged a humorous smirk that made Lori confess, “I’d never been in love before. I didn’t see it coming.”**

**“That’s how it happens. One day, you’re asking yourself what this is, this strange feeling. By that point, you’re already in the middle of it.” Cleaning up the trash on the table and piling it onto the tray, she gestured toward the car, “Why don’t you get her settled and I’ll take care of this.”**

**Lori put an affectionate hand on her shoulder and Alyssa added, “I’ll meet you there.”**

**“Ok.”**

**After she returned the tray, she gave Rae a drink of water from the paper up and walked her around a little to let her take care of her business. Once they were back on the road, Lori promised, “Not long now ladies. We’re almost home.”**

*****


	3. ABC

**Chapter Three**

**It had been a long week at camp. Becky had gone into her first real invitation, with the highest of hopes as a participating member of the team, feeling that she might fit in. Her and Ali were far and away the fastest on the team. The both of them could run for days after the rest of the team had either tired out or posed no threat to their endurance. Within the initial seventy-two hours, she’d met with her coach, become fast friends with her teammates and been given a positive outlook on her possibly bright future.**

**The fourth day, however, was a whole new ballgame. The technical side was introduced and the breakdown into smaller groups based on position where individual instruction had begun. From the very beginning, Becky suddenly began to lose any confidence that she thought she’d amassed. She felt awkward, unprepared and found herself having a hard time with the mistakes she was making. Every time she took a misstep, she pulled the whole line out of rhythm and they had to restart the play from the beginning. The ball in motion, her footing abrupt and unsure, she felt the eyes of her teammates and coaches judging her. The embarrassment that burned her cheeks also colored her insecurity like a beacon.**

**At the end of the day, she was harder on herself than her team could have ever been. In a matter of twenty-four hours, she had gone from feeling like she might be a part of the team, to feeling like she no longer belonged there. When the whistle blew, everyone dismissed, Ali approached her before she was able to sneak away. Becky pleaded, silently with her hands slightly raised, to give her some space. Not intending to hurt her friend’s feelings, she kept her gaze a moment too long and Ali mouthed to her ‘it’s alright.’**

**She knew her too well. She’d no doubt paid enough attention to realize that she was on the verge of a meltdown. Ali had seen her at her very worst. The fact that she recognized her floundering made her even more anxious and the need to flee was overwhelming. Feeling vulnerable and exposed, she quickly turned and walked into the direction with the least amount of people in her path.**

**Coming to her side, Megan glanced over at Ali and took in a breath, “Let’s give her some space.” Ali took a step to follow her anyway and Megan reached for her arm, “She’s got to figure this one out on her own.”**

**Becky disappeared from view when she turned at the far end of the complex. She heard the crack of a bat and then some cheering for whomever had hit the baseball. Leaning on the fence in right field, she watched the two college teams with just enough interest to distract herself from crying. As the game went on, tears began to make their way down her face, a result of concentrated nervousness.**

**Wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, she looked in the opposite direction whenever she noticed anyone walking past. The team playing the field had tied in the last inning. If they could hold the score down, they might have a shot. Judging by the amount of cheering and the intensity of the game, it was for a playoff spot. When a hard ground ball was sent through the glove of the second baseman, she watched the excitement turn into panic and anger. There were mixed reactions to the error and she could see the heartache in the kid who’d let an easy grounder turn into a double.**

**She leaned on the fence again, happy for the brief distraction. She didn’t want to go to dinner and she definitely didn’t want an evening bonding event. Another crack of the bat and she turned and saw a line drive to the second baseman. This time, he caught the ball and tagged second to end the inning. Walking back toward the complex, she wished both teams good luck in her head in the next inning.**

**By the time she made it to her room, Ali had already gone to dinner. She was happy to have the room to herself. Her thoughts were heavy as she sat on the edge of her bed; her mind trying to decide what her next move should be.**

**By the second week’s end, frustrated with herself, she was dreading the roster release. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to deal with the humiliation or the rejection.**

*****

**Alyssa followed along on Instagram and Twitter every day. There were clips where she could see Becky running drills in the background or times where the camera showed her engaged in conversation. Every time she saw a new video, she’d replay it, happy to be able to get a glimpse. It was the last thing she watched before her eyes grew heavy. Then, turning her phone off, she rubbed up and down Hannah’s back, soothing her in her sleep. It had become their nighttime ritual.**

**After her bath and dressed in her cuddliest pajamas, she curled up against Alyssa on the bed with Rae tucked somewhere in the middle. Every once in a while, her ears would perk, listening for anything that might disrupt the calm.**

**Standing in the doorway, Lori snapped a picture of the sleeping trio.**

*****

**Alyssa came into the family room wearing one of Becky’s practice jerseys. Jack smiled at the gesture and questioned, “I don’t think I’ve seen that in the last two weeks.” Shaking her head, Alyssa blushed, “No. I’ve been saving it for tonight.”**

**Walking with no regard for caution, Hannah held her mother’s hands as she balanced herself through the doorway and toward the center of the room where Rae was sitting beside Alyssa. Once she’d reached her desired target, she thumped herself down to the floor and crawled another few feet. Rae stood and watched Hannah sit nearby. When she’d settled herself, the puppy braved itself closer so she could pet her head. An excited giggle escaped her and Alyssa reassured, “Nice doggy.” She nodded to assure that Hannah was being playful without being too rough. When Rae rolled onto her side and exposed her belly as an offering, Hannah giggled in a quieter tone before lying beside her. Her nose wrinkled up in a happy smile when Rae cuddled closer; Rae’s twitching nose coming to rest on the child’s still arm.**

**Handing his wife a glass of white wine, Jack looked to Alyssa, “A nice chardonnay?” He had made his way over the bar and took a swallow of his beer. She’d tried a few different wines with Lori at dinner and they were all different. She couldn’t put her finger on if she liked one more than another but her nerves had her wrecked and she wanted something familiar, “Can I have a beer?”**

**His laughter, no matter how hardy, held no malice. He nodded and reached for a glass, “Alyssa, you’re my favorite daughter-in-law.” She smiled at his playful nature and thanked him. He had made her feel so comfortable; they both had. She felt as if she’d been a member of the family for generations and her roots had stemmed from deeply embedded DNA.**

**Lori had brought in a large tray of snacks to distract them from the anxiety as they waited for the game. At the top of the hour, the television screen panned the field and several players as they warmed up and the announcer began his intro.**

**“There’s a buzz around the stadium as we prepare for a friendly tonight. It’s seventy-one degrees and just perfect weather tonight to see this new lineup that’s been assembled. We’re about to see some of the best players in the world as they take on Panama. Some we know…” The camera focused on Carli Lloyd as she stood along the sideline. “…And some who’ll be looking to make their mark.” The camera settled on Ali and Becky who were stretching together with one of the coaches.**

**Lori immediately put her hand to her mouth and stifled her excitement, “Oh, look…there she is!” Alyssa smiled at the enthusiasm and tamped down the tinge of grief she felt for her loss. She missed being a part of it.**

**“She looks good,” Jack mused as he watched her chatting. “Cool.” Alyssa stole a glance at him as he beamed with pride. She could see the admiration he had for her hard work and respected the process that lead her to where she was on the field.**

**When Alyssa looked at the screen again as it slowly panned out to reveal a wider view before fading to an overhead of the stadium crowd, she did a double take at Becky. “Oh my…” Halting her words, her mouth gaped.**

**Before she could go on, the announcers began with a profile of the starting XI, “Well, we’ve got some changes tonight that are going to be very interesting…” Becky’s name flashed on the screen and Jack and Lori both cheered, realizing she was getting her first start. Then, pausing, Jack stared at the screen hesitantly, “Wait. Alyssa? Why is her name in front of our goal?” Lori looked on curiously, unsure of what that meant.**

**“He’s playing her as a defender.” Shaking her head, she saw Ali’s position at its usual as well as most of the other players. There was another girl who she knew was still in college; and a rookie who’d been tearing up the league this season, named Sophia.**

**Alyssa immediately broke down each position and her eyes darted from one part of the field to the other and it seemed was calculating in her head. “Is that bad,” Lori questioned.**

**Her thoughts settling, Alyssa’s mouth quirked to one side and she held her smile. Huffing out a soft chuckle, she shook her head, “Nope. That’s not bad at all.”**

**The two announcers were in view again and explaining the strengths of the Panama team and Jack abandoned his drink at the bar and nervously sat beside his wife on the sofa. During the opening, Becky was nervous. She could see it in the way she stood with her hands behind her, at attention, her chin out proudly, determined to make a liar of anyone who dared insinuate otherwise. “Relax, baby,” Alyssa muttered softly under her breath, willing her the confidence.**

**When the whistle blew, the clock started and there was a brief jockey for possession until the ball was popped out and Becky found herself in a chase that rendered her with control. She hesitated for only a moment and in an act of muscle memory, she poised to send the ball the wrong way. Alyssa saw her body shift toward her own goal and the opponent still pressing her, swiped at her feet. Seeing the opening caused by her error, Alyssa jumped to her feet, “No!”**

**Caught off guard, Becky lost her balance but refused to give up possession. Pulling the other girl down on top of her, she was able to avoid the loss. Still standing, Alyssa laughed a little when she saw the blatant trickery she’d pulled, “Don’t do that again, they’re not going to let you pull that.”**

**With the ball sent in the other direction, Becky settled down and Alyssa could see her shifting to a defensive position depending on what was happening on the other side. She was a hyperkinetic blur that was watching every player and it was apparent to her that she was coordinating with Ashlyn.**

**Three players were stuck in the corner near the opposing goal and the U.S. was awarded the throw in. A dirty trip put Ali on the ground and there was a steal breaking from them toward midfield. Becky could see how the pay was setting up and before Ashlyn had a chance to scream her name she was already in place when a long shot lofted toward the goal just out of her reach. Her forethought had put her in line with the ball and she headed it out bounds before an opposing player skidded into her.**

**As she reclaimed her breath, she heard the whistle and realized that she had stopped a goal. Brushing herself off, she looked up and heard the noise level of the crowd roar as they replayed the block on the overhead. A foul awarded in their favor gave them the opportunity to regain possession. There was a brief volley on the throw in that quickly led play to the opposite end and finished with Ali scoring her first official goal with the team.**

**Still on her feet, Alyssa began to shout moments before Jack and Lori were able to see the path that had been plotted out. Finally, all three of them were on their feet cheering for the U.S. who’d scored first. Becky was so excited that she sprinted the entire length of the way to celebrate with her friend.**

**The final score was 4-0 but from the reaction of the crowd, it could have been 40-0. There was a media frenzy after the game, reporters clamoring to talk with the new rookies that had taken the game to a new level of play. In the end, Ali had scored two of the four goals and Becky had been responsible for assisting in three. She’d also effectively kept the ball away from there being too much danger or the possibility of a goal. Her aggressive play that blocked several attempts at times resembled acrobatics and the press began calling her the gymnast.**

**Alyssa was able to find one video of an interview online where they were talking to Becky after the game. She was asked several questions that she easily answered and then at one point, hesitated. It was obvious to her that she’d become emotional and needed to take a moment to collect herself.**

**After the game, when there was a moment away from everyone else, Becky approached her Coach and stood quietly choosing her words before she spoke. When he turned and saw her, he smiled and winked, “I knew you were going to keep the home base protected.” His words took her breath away and anything she thought she was going to say to him had evaporated in her head. Understanding her plight, he put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed, “You did good. I had faith.” Letting herself smile, Becky nodded back, “Thanks.” She wasn’t able to get anything else out before he was called away for a post game interview.**

**Becky had originally planned to try to fly out later that night after the game. Her teammates, however, had other plans. They talked her into staying the night so they could all go out to dinner together to celebrate and leave the next afternoon.**

**Seated around a large table at the Mexican restaurant, Megan held up a small shot glass, “This is for all the new blood that became a part of the baller lifestyle.” Everyone held up their own, filled with tequila as she added, “To the first of many victories…”**

**Downing the shot quickly, Megan pointed to Lindsey who balked at the drink. “Next round is on whoever’s last to tip it.” Slamming her glass, open side down, Megan announced, “Done.”**

**Glasses made their way on the table and Ashlyn quickly added hers to the completed category. Lindsey gulped hers and shook her head as she set the glass down. Becky held hers in her hand and peered over at Ali who was waiting for her stare. Jaelin sat across from Sophia and they locked up each other watching to see who caved.**

**Ali flinched her hand and Becky immediately took the bait and downed her shot. Her giggle, providing enough ammunition to heckle Becky’s ego, Ali downed her drink. Carli still held her glass, engaged in the game of chicken, surveying who was left. Sam caught her eye before she leaned forward to see if the two rookies, Jaelin and Sophia, were still holding out. When both simultaneously lifted their glasses in a frenzy, Sam was already slamming her glass on the table.**

**Holding her hand up, Carli smiled, “Another round over here.” Then she swallowed back her drink.**

**“Class act,” Julie smiled. “Not letting the rookies pay for round two.”**

**“Not round two,” Carli smirked. “The next round however…”**

**Rules were out the window and curfews had ceased to exist. “Dinner” had turned into an event that ended up closing the restaurant later that evening. With groups splintering, Ashlyn parted ways with Ali to go with Megan who was in search of anything that was outside of the confines of the hotel. Ending up in their room, playing host to three of the other newer players, Ali and Becky felt like they were back in Europe together. The laughter was infectious and Jae was on her side in an uncontrolled ball as Ali imitated Megan’s antics. Becky lost all control when she began repeating the dinnertime tequila challenge that led to their drunken rampage, “All of the new blood….” She hiccupped before staggering in place and tried to go on, “…who became a baller style…” Stopping herself, she frowned, “Life ballers?” Becky had draped herself over Jae’s shoulder when she couldn’t sit upright anymore, her laughter taking everything inside her as she shook her head and repeated, “Baller style...”**

**Sophia took another shot and then let herself fall back to the bed to laugh as she warned through bursts of laughter, “Megan is going to kill you…if she hears you.”**

**Ali perched herself on the edge of the bed, holding a hand out to steady the room as she asked in a hushed voice, “Is she here?” Lindsey stared up at the ceiling from the floor beside the bed and shook her head, “Let me check her Insta.”**

**Sitting up, Becky waved out a hand, “Please. If we need to deal with Megan, we’ll unleash Ali on her with a decorative pillow.” When she was able to focus on the words and she looked over at Becky, the pair burst out in unison, “VIOLATION!”**

**The mention of the word sent the twosome into a fit of hysterical laughter that prodded Jae, Sophia and Lindsey to totally lose it. Every time she tried to get herself under control, the image of Ali swatting Megan with the sofa cushion plagued her and started laughing again. Her hand swinging symbolically, she mimicked Ali’s tantrum that had rendered them all useless, “Vi-o-la-tion…”**

**Becky could hear the blood pulsing in her ears, she laughed so hard. Ali had stood again and was recreating the scene with her own brand of theatrics. “Omg, you live with her?” Jae questioned through a tear streaked face.**

**Suddenly, sitting up, Lindsey screamed, “Oh, shit.” Her tone raised eyebrows and Becky sat up beside Jae. Ali looked up and tried to figure out where she heard her own voice coming from. She listened to her drunken impression of Megan and then looked down at Lindsey who was staring at her phone. Then, looking up, her horrified expression as she held it out and it replayed the events, “I must have accidentally recorded it and posted it.”**

**Stumbling over one another to see the video that was half in focus but one hundred percent clear when they listened to the audio, they were silently huddled together. “Megan’s going to kill us,” Lindsey mumbled. Sophia pulled up the video on her phone and snickered, “Three thousand views…” Her voice trailed off as she began to laugh in a way that made Ali break into a smile.**

**Unable to hold back, Becky started to giggle and it sent Jae spiraling into another round. Before they could stop themselves, they’d all but forgotten the video and Ali started up with another Megan zinger.**

*****

**She cursed the lack of forethought on her part and then seethed at the weak cell signal as the message seemingly cycled in a vast black hole of data that went nowhere. Alyssa was looking out across the ramp now, at the pool of people shuffling through the concourse. The current is at a pace that should make it fairly easy for her to see if someone has stopped and was looking back for an anchor among the tides. The crowds ebb and flow; the noise settles somewhat and then is thrust into a bustling forward motion again. At first, she thinks she’s found her, pacing along the baggage claim but then she sees her. And she knows it’s her. Her hair down, a baseball cap pulled low on her face, an attempt at reclaiming the anonymity she’d become accustomed to before the game.**

**She pulled herself out of the flow of traffic, stopping by the wall of payphones, staring intently at the directional signs pointing toward every facet of the terminal. She searches over the heads of people, only with her eyes, not with her head. It’s a suspicious looking posture she adopts when she’s uncomfortable. Then, she sees Alyssa, standing still, watching. Her head turns to match that direction and at the same time a smile creeps onto her face. It’s all she can do to contain her laugh when Becky lets out an exhale that broadcasts the comfort that just the sight of Alyssa elicits. Her shoulders seem to drop a little and the tension that had creased the space between her eyebrows relaxes.**

**Pulling the rolling suitcase behind her, a backpack over her chiseled shoulder, she finds her way through the maze until her arms are around Alyssa and their bodies are pressed together. It isn’t until they pull apart that Alyssa realizes she was holding her breath, unable to fill her lungs until the moment they crashed against one another. Alyssa wants to kiss her lips and be consumed by her but Becky pulls back. She takes the palms of her hands and places them gently on her cheeks and holds them, unmoving, taking in every feature as if they’d spent centuries apart. Searching her brown eyes, pouring over every trace, inspecting any hint of freckle that might have appeared in her absence; she finally smiles wide. When she finally relents, the kiss that she presses to Alyssa’s lips is soft, deliberate and reserved. It promises of things to come, when they’re alone, where the world falls away and only they exist.**

**It’s late and the house is seemingly empty when they return. They make love together, unbridled and frenzied, like teenagers fumbling on prom night. It satisfies the immediate needs but does nothing for the want of intimacy. Once the nervous energy burns itself off and they make love again, it’s then that they take their time, worshipping everything about the other that fuels them.**

**Becky rolls herself on top of Alyssa again, holding herself up slightly, her forearm against the mattress to give them space. The kisses they exchange are time-consuming and bottomless. The urgency having dissipated; the need to press against time evaporated. Their movements lack the feeling of pursuit; a luxury that only the emptiness of the house and the middle of the night could provide. Every touch is electric, as if it’s the first; every kiss lingering, as if it’s the last.**

**With their bodies spent, Becky’s arms are around Alyssa from behind, her lips pressed to her shoulder in their familiar pose. She still peppers kisses along her spine in languished intervals before returning to the nape of her neck and nuzzling into her hairline. Becky’s appetite for her is never satiated when she holds her this way. Her lips never cease to still. They pause momentarily at times, still maintaining contact with her body, before they begin to flutter again; her tongue still sampling her skin.**

**Opening her hand and spreading out her fingers, Becky rests it against Alyssa’s belly. The pads of her fingers lightly massage over the skin, stirring her insides with spasms. Taking her hand and bringing it higher against her, wrapped in her own, the soft thumping in her chest echoes through them simultaneously. Feeling the connection they’re sharing, as it courses and surges through them as one, Becky smiles against Alyssa’s back. In the dark, without words, blinded and still; Alyssa can feel her expression change against her. It’s those moments that she knows are Becky’s most honest and intimate. She smiles to herself, moving slightly to kiss the top of her hand that she holds dear. At that instant, her own vulnerabilities exposed, Becky whispers in her ear and her breath stutters in disbelief, “Lys…” There’s a pause but there’s no hesitation. It’s a seamless thought that she’s somehow homed in on and pulled out of her toward the light, “I want children with you.”**

**Turning so she could reposition herself underneath Becky, she looks up, searching her eyes in the dim light. She put a hand to her face gently, her thumb smoothing underneath her eye, caressing, “You’re enough for me. My heart is full. I don’t need another thing.”**

**Becky kisses her lips and Alyssa can see her contented smile in the shadowy features of her face. “And you’re enough for me, Lys. I don’t need anything else. I _want_ something else.”**

**“You know I can’t…”**

**“I could do it.”**

**“You?”**

**“Why not? I’ll bet you that I could make some adorable chubby cheeked little babies…” Becky’s voice trailed off as Alyssa sat up further in a flurry and reached for the lamp at the bedside. When the bright illumination flooded the room, Becky squinted a little and waited for Alyssa to settle back. As their eyes adjusted, the brunette put her hand on Becky’s forehead and asked, “Are you alright?”**

**Laughter escaped her, amused at the offhand comment, “Yes.” Taking her outstretched hand and holding it, she added, “I’m alright.” Taking a hold of Alyssa’s hand, she kissed it and smiled, “What’s wrong? Do I have to stay dark and brooding forever? My dreams have come true and I want to show a little respect. I think I’m happy, Lys. All that therapy might have done me more than just a little bit of good.”**

**Alyssa’s smile was half-hearted as she stared up.**

**“What’s wrong?” Becky kissed her nose and pulled her closer into her arms. “I thought Hannah triggered your baby fever. Did you have enough of her?”**

**Pushing Becky back a little, Alyssa frowned, “Don’t say that. She’s a beautiful baby.”**

**Becky pushed herself up onto her hands, “Then what’s wrong?”**

**Sitting up and leaning back, Alyssa took a pillow and hugged it again her chest. She was becoming emotional when she started to talk, “I spent a lot of time with Lori. We talked a lot.” Leaning her chin on the pillow, she shook her head slightly, “I don’t really know how to tell you this.”**

**Sitting beside Alyssa on the bed, she pulled a tee shirt over her head pushed her hair out of her face as her mind raced. Pulling on her shorts, she looked at Rae curled up on her blanket, watching them closely. Standing slowly, she went to retrieve the dog and whispered, “Your momma needs you.” Kissing her head, she set Rae in her lap and Alyssa’s hand began combing through her fur with her fingers.**

**When she got back into bed, she sat cross legged and waited for Alyssa to figure out her words. “Lori and your dad are really in love. They’re in love in the way that,” she paused as she thought about her choices for comparison. “They’re in love the way that you and I are.” The way she spoke softly reassured Becky enough to move a little closer and caress her arm lightly with her finger. “Hannah looks so much like you.”**

**Becky sniffed a little, “Poor kid.” Her laugh mocked herself.**

**“Don’t do that.” Alyssa wasn’t in the mood for games. “I don’t have to tell you how much of a resemblance you both have with your dad.”**

**Nodding, Becky agreed.**

**“But there’s this part of her that’s uniquely Lori. It’s the way she has this little dimple in her cheek when she laughs. And her thumbs…they’re kind of oddly shaped the same way.” She stared out in thought as the images of Hannah flooded her thoughts.**

**Alyssa put a hand on Becky’s thigh and massaged. She ran her fingers lightly over the scars that no one ever sees because she doesn’t wear such short shorts around anyone else. “Could you imagine if you take away one of those quirky things that you love about me?” Becky met her brown eyes as she spoke, “If you take away just the smallest piece of your personality, I might not have fallen in love with you.”**

**“Lys…” She was getting worried now.**

**“If we have a baby, one of us will always be missing.” It was these thoughts that were crowding her mind. “It won’t be us. It’ll never be us.”**

**Becky’s eye twitched a little and she furrowed her brow in thought, “Would just my half not be good enough?”**

**Alyssa narrowed her eyes and gave her a side-eye, “Don’t ever worry about losing your dark and brooding edge. Is that what I said?”**

**Holding back a smile, Becky leaned over and kissed her before she could back away. “Lori said they both wanted a baby to show them what the best of them together would be. It made me sad to think about how we would never have our best.”**

**Becky squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips together. She was trying her best to resist the urge to smile. She buried her head into Alyssa’s shoulder and stifled herself. All she could think about was the most sarcastic response that highlighted neither of them having a working penis, so no, that would never happen. The harder she tried to sober herself, the more her brain thought up stupid jokes referring to her non-working penis.**

**She felt Alyssa put a hand on her shoulder for comfort and Becky put her arm up and around Alyssa’s arm to hide her face.**

**“I didn’t want to upset you,” Alyssa whispered.**

**Becky animatedly nodded her head against her and agreed, “Mmhm.” She heard her sniffling and realized that her wife was probably crying and she was tearing up with laughter. Alyssa was going to kill her, just choke her to death right here in their bed, if she didn’t get it together.**

**Alyssa was tearful as she spoke. Eventually she leaned her head against Becky and started to cry, “I had a religious experience out there. I think I saw God.”**

**Snapping her head up, Becky raised an eyebrow in question, “What?”**

**Alyssa was shaking her head, “I don’t know how I never noticed…everything is so beautiful.” Becky put her arms around her as she began crying and buried her face into her chest. Jumping up, Rae sat beside the couple and surveyed while Becky held her close and soothed, “Please calm down, Lys.”**

**She continued her ramblings that had all but become incoherent mumbling when a knock came on the door, “Are you guys alright?” Becky held her tighter and finally called, “Ali?” Opening the door, she peeked inside the room and answered, “Ash is here too. What’s happened?” Ali crossed the room and sat beside Alyssa on the bed and put a hand to her back as she cried.**

**Standing in the doorway, Ashlyn looked at Becky and silently questioned, “What happened?”**

**“I just don’t know,” Becky confessed, wanting help. “She said she saw Jesus.”**

**Taking a step into the room, Ashlyn narrowed her eyes in thought, trying to decide if she was serious or not. “Huh?” When Megan poked her head through the door, Ashlyn turned, “Something’s wrong with Lys.”**

**Coming to the bedside, Megan put a hand on Alyssa’s shoulder, “Hey, kiddo. What’s happening?” Her voice was even and calm. She spoke in a way that made Alyssa pay attention. Stopping her hysterics, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and slowly looked up. “Talk to me.” She smiled and reached her hand out for Alyssa’s.**

**“Megan, I don’t know. I can’t stop crying. I just can’t explain it.” Looking up at Becky, her face grimaced at horrible thoughts rushing into her head, “You love me still, don’t you?”**

**Hugging her against her, Becky scolded lovingly, “Don’t even think for a second that I don’t. I love you so much, honey. So….much.” Clinging to her wife, she met Ali’s eyes, “Are you still my friend? Are we friends? Does Ashlyn hate me?” Ali immediately reached around her, “Lys, you’re my best friend.” Waving Ashlyn closer, Ali promised, “Ash is right here. Keepers for life.”**

**Ash sat down, “That’s right, Lys. You and me.”**

**Megan added, “You’re elite, kid.”**

**Becky kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Everybody’s here and we all love you.” Once Alyssa had relaxed enough, Becky settled her on her pillow and covered her. Rae immediately rested beside her and curled into the space between her shoulder and the crook of her neck.**

**Standing slowly, Ali went to the doorway and waited for everyone. Leaving it open a few inches, Becky peered through to make sure she was comfortable. When she turned, everyone stood behind her, waiting for an answer.**

**“What the hell was that?” Ashlyn demanded. “What did you do?”**

**Snapping her head up, Becky narrowed her eyes at the blond and Megan immediately raised her hands to stop her, “Not now! Focus. What just happened?”**

**Her leering expression wandered from Ashlyn and Becky looked to Megan, “We were talking and all of the sudden she lost it.”**

**“Talking about what?” Ashlyn’s tone was menacing Becky’s mood.**

**Megan stepped into Becky’s space and tried to keep her from the distraction, “Was it something upsetting?” She’d placed a hand against her stomach to stimulate a tactile response that wasn’t threatening but would keep her tuned into their conversation.**

**Finally breaking her gaze with Ashlyn, Becky shook her head and met Megan’s concern, “No. I told her we should have children.”**

**Megan took in a deep breath and Ali closed her eyes thinking about the statement. “You really don’t think that triggered an emotional response?” Megan waited.**

**Shrugging a shoulder, Becky thought and huffed, “I wasn’t trying to bring up something mean.”**

**Megan nodded, “Uh-huh. Ok, I hear you. Maybe it made her feel inadequate.”**

**Ali turned away from them and walked into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of milk, she settled herself at the table in thought. Approaching the table, Becky focused on Ali, “She wasn’t making any sense just now. I’m glad you knocked.”**

**Ali nodded to herself, eyes down on her glass, “I heard crying.”**

**Becky was suspicious of her averted eyes. Glancing back over her shoulder, she looked to Ashlyn, who was standing nearby. “Did you think…I did something to her?”**

**Megan stepped closer and made a connection with Becky, attempting to diffuse what she could see was brewing, “We thought someone needed help. If that’s you or Lys, then we’re here.”**

**Ali peeked up sheepishly, “I thought maybe you were having sex again. I hated to listen.” She was blushing so much that Becky had to force herself to look away. “Ugh.” Dragging her foot across the linoleum floor, she shrugged, “I didn’t realize you were all home.”**

**Ashlyn sat down at the table with Ali and looked up, “So what’s wrong with her? What happened?”**

**Jumping up to sit on the counter, Becky shrugged, “That’s what I’m telling you; she turned on a dime. She was all into being wrapped up in us and then…” Pausing, embarrassed with her vulnerable feelings, she went on, “I thought we were in a good place. I wanted to give her what she wanted. She deserves everything.”**

**Megan was still standing in the doorway listening, “Tomorrow’s her follow up, right?”**

**Becky nodded.**

**“It goes without saying that you need to mention this.” Megan then asked, “You’ll let me know how it goes?”**

**Becky nodded again and her stare dropped into her lap. Megan stepped closer, setting a hand on her knee lightly, “How’re you holding up? You’ve both had a lot of adjusting lately.”**

**Her voice low, Becky didn’t look up, “I would never hurt her. I wish I could change the past so people wouldn’t think that way about me.”**

**Lifting her hand and resting it on her shoulder, Megan leaned in and spoke softly, “Family will always have your back, Becky. Don’t worry about anything else.”**

**Raising her stare from her bowed head, she smiled slightly, “Thanks, Megan.**


End file.
